9 Dangerous Words or Phrases Women Use

After sixty-two years, I'd better have learned a thing or two about women. I've learned a lot more in the last few years, and now am beginning to counsel younger men.

But....there are some things a young man just has to find out himself. My Beloved's younger brother sent her, and me, the follwing email:

9 DANGEROUS WORDS OR PHRASES THAT WOMEN USE
#1 FINE: This is the word that women use to end an argument when they are right and you just need to shut up!

#2 FIVE MINUTES: If she is getting ready, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only really five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before running an errand or doing a chore.

#3 NOTHING: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with "nothing" usually end in "fine"!

#4 GO AHEAD: This is a trick, a dare, not permission. If she says it in that tone, with her head slightly tilted and her eyes open wide, DON'T DO IT!

#5 LOUD SIGH: This is actually a word, but it is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you.

#6 THAT'S OKAY: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. "That's okay" usually means that it's not okay and you are going to pay dearly for that mistake!

#7 WHATEVER: This is a woman's way of saying #$%^&*!!! #8 THANKS: A woman is thanking you, do not question her, or faint, just say "you're welcome". (I want to add in a clause here, "thanks" is much different than "thanks alot". DO NOT say you're welcome after "thanks alot" as it will bring on a "whatever"!)

#9 DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT, I GOT IT: This is another dangerous statement, be very worried about it! It means this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but she is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking "what's wrong"? To which she will respond "nothing"!

I wrote back to my young friend and offered the following sage advice:

Dear ______, (I do not want to embarass anyone)

Yes, Matthew, I've seen it before. In fact, the odds are that the older a man gets, the more he's going to see this. Men who are seeing it for the first time think it's a joke and send it to others (usually men, seldom women, except sisters, because of an unrecognized primal fear that can't yet be identified or acknowledged at this stage). It is not a joke. Wise elders know this and whisper to other wise elders in private when they meet without their women: "guys beware."

Women who send it to a man also place it in the context of a joke, but they know in their darkest heart that it's really a warning not to %#$&!! with them....especially smart women. Smart men know not to %#$&!! with them, only love them, sometimes ravishing them, but never %#$&!!ing with them.

I know you probably don't believe me, now, but you will......you will....

The email came back as undeliverable. I've done what I can.