Wednesday, July 17, 2019

10 Useful Tips for Men On Creating A Great Dating Profile

by Gary Stamper

With so many internet dating web sites and millions of users, it's hard to get noticed by the person you find yourself attracted to. Here're some tips to increase your chances of success manifold, in internet dating.

1. Make your profile stand out
Make your profile stand out in the midst of thousands of 'me too' internet dating profiles. It is usually a good idea to search for profiles of your own sex, to gauge the competition. You could even learn a thing or two from viewing profiles of other people. Use humor in your profile. It works very well. Women especially love men who can make them laugh.

Gary’s tip: I know a woman who actually used intimidation to eliminate potential partners she knew would not be able to meet her. Impressed the hell out of me! You should be at a place where you are probably looking for someone who’s fairly fearless.

2. Be honest
Be truthful about your situation. Don't hint that you're a millionaire if you're not. You'll just attract the wrong people and waste your time. If you're married or have kids, say so in your dating profile.

3. Don't appear desperate
Don't appear like you're really desperate for a date and have no standards at all. Set a partner criterion that isn't too broad. If you're looking for partners between five feet and six feet two and religion, ethnicity and race don't matter, it means you're only looking to get laid. At least, that's what you're conveying.

Gary’s tip: Not too broad? I say narrow it down! You know exactly what you’re looking for.

4. Write about yourself
Provide enough information about yourself. What are you like as a person? Which movies do you like? What sort of books do you read? Fiction or non-fiction? Mention your hobbies and interests in your dating profile.

Gary’s tip: Let’s get deeper: What’s your philosophy on life and your spiritual beliefs? Better to eliminate those who don’t meet your wants than to waste time on them, only to discover later that they’re a TV evangelist. It’s a numbers game, and you want to narrow down your, and their, focus.

5. Be specific about what you're looking for (or not looking for without going negative)
Write about the sort of partner you're looking for in terms of outlook, qualities, appearance, religious beliefs etc., if they're important. Also, by being specific, you’re subtly letting someone know that if they don’t meet that parameter, they’re probably wasting their time (and yours).

Gary’s tip: Duh! Of course your parameters are important, unless you’re desperate or asleep! Hopefully, you aren’t either, so ask clearly and concisely what you’re looking for. This requires knowing yourself. Example: “please be evolved beyond fundamentalist consciousness.”

6. Be positive in your profile
Often people will write, 'No freaks' or ' No messed-up people'. This isn't the way anyone would see himself or herself. It shows that you're cynical and see people in a negative light. Be non-judgemental and show that you are. Be receptive to bringing new people into your life.

Gary’s tip: But…be discerning. Like a good breathwork session, always think “this or something better.”If you want someone who doesn’t drink or smoke, say so.

7. Choosing your dating profile user name or headline
Your user name plays a critical role. It is the difference between people clicking on your profile name and viewing your profile or moving on to the next one. Avoid using your full name. You could use your first name with some numbers after it. Something that shows you're romantic or have a sense of humor would work if these are the qualities you possess and want to project.

Gary’s tip: The headline is even more important than your user name. Something catchy and clever will create curiosity. Spend a lot of time with this.

8. Don't be afraid of the Internet
Even in today's times many people are afraid of using the internet for creating dating profiles or searching for prospective dates. As long as you follow basic safety norms, there is no reason to be paranoid. The internet gives some degree of anonymity. Use this till you're reasonably sure who're you're dealing with,

Gary’s tip: The internet is the safest way to meet people if approached correctly. It lets you get to know something about the person before you meet them. ALWAYS meet someone new in a public place with lots of other people around.

9. Internet dating profile pictures
The picture is probably the single most important aspect of your profile. Pictures are known to increase profile views and messages received more than anything else. Use a recent picture. Be fair to the people who may want to get in touch with you. Once you start meeting people in person, you’ll understand why this is important.

Gary’s tip: Pay to get a professional photo taken, even if it’s at WalMart. If you don’t care about yourself, why should someone else care about you?

If the real you is different from the picture, your date will likely be disappointed. No one likes the 50-lb and 5-year suprise! You can always use some image editing software to enhance the picture, though. This is something most people in show business do for their portfolios, ad campaigns and movie posters. Let your picture portray someone who's positive and receptive. Smile!

Avoid webcam shots. They turn out lousy. Group shots are a no-no. It shows you weren't serious enough to even get a picture taken. Use a close-up, not a long distance shot. Most dating sites will remove your image if it's a sketch or a cartoon character. So there's no point going that way. Use nudity only if it is permissible as per the terms of service of the dating site you're signing up with and make sure it's tasteful. Also consider that the images you use can go into circulation elsewhere and may wind up haunting or humiliating you.

Gary’s NSFW tip: Even if you’re on an adult site, guys, stay away from “dick” pics. If they want to see it, they’ll ask. I can’t believe how many men will use one as their profile pic, proving that you think with the little brain. Stay away from adult sites unless that’s what you’re looking for, and don’t look for a peach in a lemon grove.

10. Log in often
After you create your profile, log in often. Most internet dating websites sort listings by last logged in date. That way your profile is seen more often.

Gary’s other tips:
·        Internet dating is a numbers game, and you’re going to kiss a lot of frogs (figuratively speaking, of course). Be prepared for this to take time, and take time away when you feel burnt out. I would go on for 2-3 months, and take a month or two off, temporarily tuning my profiles off for a while. When I’d come back, I’d change some things…my photo, my headline…
·        Pick your dating sites carefully, where you think you’ll find people who are most like you. Exceptions: and Zoosk, just because of the sheer numbers!
·        Join more than one dating site.


Gary Stamper is also a life coach and is the co-creator of the couples' workshop "Discovering Your Sacred Purpose as a Couple.":

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