"If a woman suggests something that changes a man's perspective, then he should make a decision based on that new perspective, but he should never betray his
own deepest knowledge and intuition in order to please his woman or "go along' with her. Both she and he will be weakened by such an action. They will grow to resent each other, and the crust of accumulated inauthenticity will burden their love, as well as their capacity for free action."
So opens Chapter 6 from David Deida's The Way of the Superior Man. At this weeks' meeting, we examined what it means to trust our own wisdom, and where we sometimes weaken and fail to stand up to our deepest truth to please others.
Wednesday, December 05, 2007
Integral Warriors: Meeting 7, Never Change Your Mind Just To Please Your Woman
....Or anyone else, for that matter. Whether your partner, your parents, your kids, your boss...
This often happens between a man and woman, but can also apply to other areas of your life. How do your actions and your trust, or lack of trust, of your own wisdom affect those around you? Are you someone who can be trusted? Do you make your decisions from your deepest realization or to please others?
Deida says an attitude of self-trust engenders others' trust in you. How's your self-trust doing, and how are you doing with your self trust? And finally, how do we build our self trust?
I've given up my power in the past, reclaimed it (and wound up in divorce, which was the right thing). The only time I was ever fired was because I refused to do something my boss wanted me to do that was clearly illegal.
My Beloved sometimes asks if I'm making a particular choice because of her, and as tempting as it is to say "yes" to please her, the truth is that my yes would ultimately undermine our relationship and her trust in my masculine. I'm delighted my choices benefit her, but make no mistake: that's not why I choose it.
I also deeply honor that my choices have been sparked by her through the light of intimacy, Realization, and Embodiment of what I call Big Love Integral, or conscious integral relationship.....but they are still very much my choices, and I accept complete responsibility for them, right or wrong.