Integral Warriors: Embodying the New Masculine

Why would I start an Integral Men's Group when there are plenty of men's groups already around (Sex, Passion, and Enlightenment - The Mankind Project)? Because they don't take specifically take a 4-quadrant/AQAL approach. We'll approach this group apllying Ken Wilber and David Deida's model. Starting in September, I hope to bring 6-10 men together to help each other discover what it means to embody the New Masculine from a second tier perspective. I also believe that this is some of the most important work that can be done today as we watch Patriarchy die kicking and screaming (see my previous three blogs).

What is a Men's group?

A men’s group is a group of men who meet regularly and are committed to the goals of learning to serve each other to deeper spiritual growth, keeping each other true to their deepest life’s purpose, and practicing giving their unique gifts to each other and the world. The teachings for this group will be based on the David Deida book, The Way of the Superior Man.

What will happen at Meetings?

Each meeting will follow a structured agenda of exercises with time included for giving each other feedback and encouragement in their practices of deep living based on the book The Way of the Superior Man and other teachings by David Deida. This group will determine our own logistics of meeting frequency and time.

Why should I join a Men's group?

Many men know how hard it is to follow through with deep, spiritual teachings in their everyday lives without any kind of support. Many have experienced the so called "rubber band effect" after attending a profound workshop or intensive. "Rubber-banding" is when you get stretched open beyond your normal boundaries in a challenging, or ecstatic situation, but then "snap back" to your more habitual patterns of behavior when you return to your everyday life. A men’s group provides a conscious community to support men’s continued growth of deep understanding and practice.

What will it cost, and what kind of commitment will be required?

Each member of the Men's group will be asked for a small donation at the meetings to help cover the cost and time of putting the meetings together. The time commitment will depend on how often the group will want to meet, but I recommend twice a month, and a commitment to attend twelve meetings except in the case of an emergency for Part I, and the first 6 chapters and 12 lessons will take place over those 12 meetings. Part II will complete coverage of the "A Man's Way" of the Superior Man.

Five reasons for a man to join a Men's Group:
Taken from "Way of the Superior Man", by David Deida

1) BEING IN THE COMPANY OF OTHER MEN
"A man discovers and fine tunes his purpose in solitude, in challenging situations, and in the company of other men who won’t settle for his bullshit. A mans capacity to receive another mans direct criticism is a measure of his capacity to receive masculine energy." Chap. 10

2) HAVING MEN HOLD YOU ACCOUNTABLE FOR LIVING YOUR DEEPEST PURPOSE
"Your mission is your priority, unless you know your mission and have aligned your life to it, your core will feel empty. Your presence in the world will be weakened, as will your presence with your intimate partner." Chap 30

3) MEN WHO ARE DEDICATED WITH YOU
"Be in the company of other men who are dedicated their lives to integrity, truth, and the heart. Men who are dedicated to live with an open heart and give their deepest gifts of love, mission and presence. The way a man penetrates the world should be the same way he penetrates his woman: not merely for personal gain or pleasure, but to magnify love, openness, and depth." Chap 9

4) SUPPORT YOUR EDGE WITH OTHER MEN
"Choose men friends who themselves are living at their edge, facing their fears and living just beyond them. Men of this kind can love you without protecting you from necessary confrontation with reality that your life involves." Chap 10

5) CUT THROUGH YOUR BS
"At least once a week, get together with your men friends to serve one another. Cut through the bullshit and talk with each other straight. Welcome such criticisms from your friends. Suggest challenges for each other to take on, in order to bring each other through the fears which limit your surrender in gifting." Chap 50

A Challenge to Wake Up

So why am I writing about 9/11 conspiracy theories, not-so-secret plans for world domination by the military industrial complex, etc., etc.? All you have to do is look at history to thoroughly support "so what's new?" Things simply have not changed that much, and still the majority of us aren't conscious enough to know or care. We have our drugs of choice, happily supplied by those who would dominate us.

I left "religion" at twelve. I could not reconcile myth and science, and no one in my circle was talking about myth as allegory, only as fundamentalist truths with no room for questions, which I could not accept. I wandered for years as an atheist at first (my only option), and later as as agnostic. It wasn't until a few years ago that I became aware of something bigger than I. Call it "Spirit," the Universe, collective consciousness, or even God, as long as it isn't dualistic.

My own sense is that Spirit, The Universe (my preferred words of choice), is a collective consciousness that we're all connected to. Not just people, but a collective consciousness that encompasses the entire universe, which includes us. I believe (a belief that cannot be proven) that the entire Kosmos is conscious and that we're able to somehow tap into that with practice, attention, intention, and our own consciousness. If we're a part of the all, then that makes perfect sense.

We just have to learn to listen.

Believing that, I've been experimenting with Dialoging with Spirit: Conversations with God, if you will, different from petitionary prayer, and little irreverent. I think Spirit has a sense of humor. After all, could Spirit possibly embed a quality into creation that it didn't already posess? It's talking to Spirit, me, and everyone else at the same time. After all....how are we different?
I've had two recent experiences where I believe Spirit has directly spoken to me, something I would have laughed at years ago. One was when Anyaa and I were fretting about whether we'd get something we really wanted and it looked like it was going south on us. Through meditation and dialog, I asked the Universe (and me, and the collective unconscious) to give me a clue. That night I startled awake from a dream where I was told, "Gary, I only do the big things, not the little ones."

I immediately called and woke up Anyaa, 2700 miles away in North Carolina, to tell her of my dream. The message was clear to us both that if our desire did not pan out it was because there was a bigger picture yet to be revealed and that we should just relax into what was to be, and we did - and the worry was gone.

My second experience happened last Saturday, during a Shamanic Breathwork journey (see my earlier posts on this amazing process!), in the form of a vision. In that vision, my disembodied self flew into the Kosmos, hooked up with Spirit as light, and we danced across galaxies, solar systems, Magellan clouds, and universes....The Universe showed me an infinite number of worlds in an infinite universe, where conscious beings were struggling to survive. Some with consciousness just struggling out of the primordial mud, some far advanced from us, some at he same tipping point which determines our survival as a planet.

The Universe/Spirit explained to me that every planet that holds consciousness must go through exactly what we're going through, now. This time in every planet's development decides whether we are worthy of taking the next evolutionary step into a shared Universal Kosmic Consciousness, or whether we commit planetcide. It was further explained that many intelligences do not survive this time, and the planet is left to begin anew, because life, consciousness itself, always pushes on, always emerges, with, or without, us.

The choice is ours, and that's why I'm writing about this stuff. In good conscience (and good consciousness) I can stay silent no longer, I must speak out.

And I believe that if you're conscious, and not asleep, or drugged, that you must also speak out. We must create the disorienting dilemmas that cause people to question and wake up.

Hurry....there's not much time left.

image: www.es.com/.../digital_theater/shows/universe/

Open Heart, Open Hands

I recently attended a discussion where I talked about how, when difficulty arose, I practiced keeping an Open Heart. Another man there asked what happened when I was through and my heart shut down, and I replied, "why would I shut my heart back down?"

What does it mean to fully open your heart? To allow whatever arises to come at you fully whether it is love, joy, or distress and pain? Sometimes even love can come to you in the form of distress. Even love can test our ability to hold an Open Heart. Ha! It is especially love that will test us!

As men, we are trained to shut things off, be strong, to be unfeeling and uncaring. Man up. How's that working for you?

It's not easy to hold an Open Heart. When it feels like you're being attacked it's the easiest thing in the world to shut down, close yourself off, thinking you're protecting yourself, when, in actuality, it's one of the worst thing we can do to ourselves. An Open Heart is the purest of love, and it can be learned. It's really quite simple.

It just takes practice. Here's way you might be able to do that.

Imagine someone in your life that you dearly love. It might be a lover, a parent, a child, a friend, whatever. Now feel into how your heart feels when you embrace them, and your heart opens to them.

Now choose an object that you can see. It might be a book, a desk, a chair, it doesn't matter. Now focus on that object, call forth the feeling of love and openness you felt for your loved one, and say to yourself, "I see this as being sacred and open my heart to it." Now, really feel into it, opening and allowing yourself to really connect with this object, concentrating on opening your heart. Practice until you can really feel yourself opening. Continue doing this with other objects throughout your day.

Next, start looking at other people the same way. At first, you'll forget, and fall back into your regular patterns, but eventually, and with enough practice, it will start to feel automatic with you. You can then apply this same learned technique, this practiced embodiment, and apply it to every situation in your life. This is the work of the Sacred Warrior.

This is particularly difficult when you're scared, or frightened that you might screw up, or that you might not be up to the task.....and there's no better time to practice. When it's happening to me, I have to be conscious of keeping my heart open, and reminding myself to always act for the highest good.

And when you master it, or when you just practice it, you'll be touching enlightenment and the very face of Spirit by whatever name you call it.

Digital image by Gary Stamper