The Integral Warrior: Final Men's Group

The introductory weekends are over. Two of them held in August and September have produced six men who are willing to step into the complete process of learning how to more fully embody The New Masculine over a 7 month period.

So what is this "New Masculine" that this process helps emerge? Both the bully and the new-age sensitive guy are archetypes that need to be transcended and morphed into a new arena of cooperation, or collective individualism. We need a fresh new way of looking at the issues that face us. The many ways we've been acting are not working.

More and more people are talking about the need for this next wave of thinking to arise as the only way we're going to solve the massive problems that are all converging on us at once, created by old paradigm thinking. These paradigms have left us with the problems of a crumbling world economy, peak oil, culture and the coming water wars, climate change, over population, and famine, just to name a few.

Just think how impossible it seems to change our crumbling financial and health/insurance systems. It pains me to think of the money we're throwing at the financial system to keep it afloat, in spite of it being unsustainable in it's present form. It won't be until the systems more or less collapse that we'll get any kind of meaningful change: when enough people wake up to "it just isn't working." The hope is that we don't totally collapse into the most basic of Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs.

Just as the old paradigms must die before new forms can emerge, so must men "die" to the old before they can emerge to the new.

By doing work around archetypes, shadow, initiation and ritual, men can dive deep into their own psyches, figure out for themselves what is no longer working for them, and how to emerge into a new way of being, what David Deida calls "3rd-stage masculine," that opens their hearts into a subtle, authentic way of living and loving that gifts the world with their presence.

Six men have agreed to take responsibility for their own evolution, fearlessly facing their inner demons, so that they may grow, mature, and step into the masculine role that the world so desperately needs at this time on the planet: that of the Integral Warrior, the Spiritual Warrior, the Shamanic Priest, this New masculine with integrated consciousness and awareness, loving themselves, their loved ones, and the entire connected planet.

I'll be doing a make-up session before we begin in late November for other men who would like to participate in this cutting-edge work around the New Masculine. I have room for four more men and I invite you or your loved ones to join us.

To find out more about The Integral Warrior: Embodying the New Masculine, click here.

New Archetypes for the New Masculine

It's a bountiful universe in here. I've been thinking about traditional Jungian archetypes and how - and if - they fit in with the concept of the New Masculine, and suddenly, Matthew Fox's book, The Hidden Spirituality of Men, shows up.

In it, Fox explores ten archetypes, or metaphors, that he believes speak to a revival of the healthy masculine, "indeed, the Sacred Masculine."

"The authors of the classic work Green man point out that for Jung, 'an archetype will appear in new form to redress imbalances in society at a particular time when it is needed. According to this theory, therefore, the Green Man is rising up into our present awareness in order to counterbalance a lack in our attitude to Nature.' "

Each of the ten archetypes in Fox's book is arising for the same reasons - to redress imbalances in our culture and in our very souls. For the latter flows from the former.

It's not that the former archetypes - especially the King and the Warrior - are no longer applicable, but that they, too, are evolving as we evolve.

In my workshop, The integral Warrior: Embodying the New Masculine, we're going to be "killing off" the patriarchal properties of these former archetypes so the new archetypes can arise and take their place in a more evolved consciousness. For instance, the Green Man has a fierceness and a determination that parallels the Warrior, and suddenly the Warrior becomes the Spiritual Warrior that stands alongside the Green Man. Without saying so, it appears to me that the King archetype, a model of patriarchy, however soft and benevolent, is replaced by the Blue Man, or Father Sky, who models compassion and creativity, "cunning as snakes and wise as doves."

"The green man demands that men stand up. That men become men. Men have been stuck in a daze brought on by modern philosophy, consumerism, and a pseudo-masculine media-promoted identity. The green man calls us to stand for the love of the Earth and the health of future generations. Stand for the trees and the animals that are being destroyed and with them the sustainability of our own species. Stand for community and compassion rather than individual power and domination. Stand for the children and generations to come."

Joseph Gelfer, in his book "Numen, Oldmen: Contemporary Masculine Spiritualities and the Problem of Patriarchy," (reviewed here) is absolutely correct in his assessment of patriarchal stances in the evangelical, mythopoetical, and even the Integral approach to men's spirituality.
Fox's book helps the neo-men's movement (my term) take a fresh look at archetypes without the hard and soft patriarchies of the earlier movement.

For me, this is a major component of the New Masculine. This is where I want to go, and I'm going to take as many men with me as I can!

What is the New Masculine?

It seems to me a critical aspect of the work to be done on the planet at this time is to heal the wounds of the masculine and feminine. A lot of the work my partner Anyaa does revolves around helping women who have become overly "masculinized" to reclaim their more powerful, integrated feminine, which includes the masculine. My work revolves around helping men who have become overly "feminized" to reclaim the healthy aspects and fullness of the New Masculine without shame and on purpose with a clear sense of their sacred mission.

In an earlier post, I asked, "who are the models for the New Masculine?" in this post I want to address the definition of this "New Masculinity."

Okay, we may not necessarily know who they are, but what does this "New Masculine" look like? What are the qualities that define the New Masculine and how is it different from the old masculine?

The masculine, directional and focused, is defined and guided by the search for freedom, cutting through all obstacles in his path. But not everyone uses masculine energy to search for that freedom in the same way.

David Deida says that how a man seeks freedom depends on his particular needs, and those needs typically change in three stages.

I won't go into those stages as I've addressed that in another post. Suffice it to say the old masculine (1st stage) finds his freedom through acquisition, or more: More money, more power, more sex, etc. he finds his freedom through external sources. This is ultimately unsustainable.

The New Masculine finds his freedom from within, and is not concerned with external causation. He may have things, but doesn't find his self worth, his freedom, from them. He finds his freedom in the present moment, from surrender into that moment, and letting go of self definition. The New Masculine no longer searches for freedom, he embodies freedom itself, always transcending, always including that which arises spontaneously in every moment.

Beautiful. What the hell does that mean?

It means no longer being dependent on someone else's opinion of him, although he can relax into a deep listening state when someone offers counsel. It means being able to hold space for family, friends, a partner, the world. it means being in service to the world without negating his own needs in a codependent way. It means saying "no" sometimes in a loving and compassionate way. It means living at his edge, always pushing himself to be on purpose, giving his unique gifts to the world, whatever they might be. It means challenging other men, and himself, to give up the things that limit surrender into gifting.

It means having his mission aligned with his life, filling his core, and it means having a deep spiritual awareness, not dogmatic drivel. The new masculine penetrates the world as he penetrates his woman, not merely for pleasure or personal gain, but to magnify an open heart, love, and depth, again, his gift to the world.

It also means being able to move freely, at will, between masculine and feminine qualities that serve the perfect moment that continuously arises in the fullness of love and non-separation.

Once men and women have fully integrated their masculine and feminine sides, they are able to move back and forth between the two at will, when either is needed in a given situation. This ability allows the feminine to open fully and the masculine to become the essence of freedom....both in the same person regardless of gender. Therein lies the possibility of Sacred Union and higher purpose for the good of all beings, and is the ultimate expression of BE-ing.

Where are the models for the New Masculine?

In my workshop, Integral Warriors, I'm often asked by men who want to shift their perspectives on their own masculinity who the models are for the New Masculine. It's a great question.

In What is Enlightenment? magazine (issue 41, October 2008), Ken Wilber and Andrew Cohen address the question of What It means to be a Man, Redefining the Masculine Principle at the leading Edge of Cultural Evolution (pg 36). In that discussion, Andrew Cohen says, that in researching the article, it was "very hard to get men, even those who seem to be very sophisticated in their cognitive capacity, to express some example of what they thought an evolved man would look like."

I agree with him that, because of post-modernisms feminizing the masculine, there is a cultural block and fear around stepping up and embracing the greater potentials of the masculine.

One of those problems, from my perspective, is that 3rd stage masculine looks like 1st stage masculine from the vantage point of 2nd stage masculine. Ken points out that postmodernism prevents us from using wisdom judgement (discernment) and discrimination around our inherent capacities, in this case our masculine essence. As 2nd stage men, we have worked so hard to suppress our masculinity, that we can't see the positive aspects of our Masculinity.

Some argue that both the masculine and the feminine should drop away into a state of oneness, the non-dual, or enlightenment, but before that can happen, we have to do the work that heals our wounded masculine and feminine selves, or we can't get to that enlightened place. Of course, there are rare individuals who can embody the non-dual without having to re-integrate their inner essences, but most of us have to work at it. The danger of not doing the work for the majority of us is that we skip the developmental stages required to fully integrate and we wind up in spiritual by-pass: all light, no darkness.

And it should be obvious to all of us that the light cannot exist without the darkness.

So, let's come back to the original question, "where are the models for the New Masculine?" The very same question could be asked of the feminine, who, at 2nd stage, has integrated their own inner masculine.

In an evolutionary sense, this is all new territory, and we, the men and women who are doing this work, as teachers and students, happening at the leading edge of consciousness, are the ones who will determine what this evolutionary shift looks like. As we step into this work, willingly and consciously, we become the models for the new masculine.

Last note: I don't claim to have all the answers for this. Like so many, and both a teacher and a student as we begin to step into this.

The Integral Warrior: Vancouver, BC

TO VIEW THE FLYER, CLICK ON THE IMAGE AT THE LEFT

* Are you missing strong and supportive men in your life?
* Would you like to tap into your inner power and fullness as a man?
* Would you like to learn how to have greater productivity in all areas of your life?
* Would you like to learn how to stand in your masculine fierceness instead of being a nice guy or a bastard?
* Would you like to learn how to be Independent instead of codependent or dependent?
* Have you successfully integrated your feminine side but still feel there's more?

There is!

It's time to transcend the archetypes of the bully and the over-feminized sensitive new age guy.

We are the wounded warriors. Centuries of patriarchy have numbed our souls, our spirit, our feelings, and we are beginning to awaken the need to love and work in ways that heal our lives and the lives of those we love, and those we want to love and be worthy of.

Join a group of committed men for the workshop series "The Integral Warrior: The Path of the Shamanic Priest," as we learn how to embody The new Masculine, the Divine masculine, Eros, integrate and call in all perspectives into BE-ing with fierce awareness, stretching the boundaries of what is possible, bravely holding space for the feminine, nature, body, spirit, integrity, authenticity, wisdom and heart. Using new Integral and Developmental Systems Theory, breathwork, and traditional archetypes, initiations, and ritual, you'll learn how to align your true purpose and the full embodiment of presence for the highest good of all beings.

Starting in August 2009 in Vancouver, BC, three 4-day sessions, spread over 4 months.
For more information, click on the image above.

Integral Warriors: The Importance of Living On Your Edge

"Freedom, power, fear, money, sex, enlightenment, death, wisdom, excellence, challenge, transcendence, purpose--living at your edge is the masculine form of spiritual practice. No man is truly happy unless he is living a life of facing his fears and transcending them in his quest to give the gift he was born to give." - David Deida

What does it take for a man to live a masculine life of integrity, authenticity, and depth? What does it mean to live at, or just beyond your edge?

Being at our edge is about embracing fear and uncertainty, about growing, and about getting out of our comfort zone because staying comfortable in one spot too long is really like dying. Yes, there are times when we should relax, times for reflection, and time to be alone to rediscover our mission or purpose, but then we have to climb back out of the safety of our cocoon and embrace life. A man is not fully satisfied unless he is on purpose in his life.

There are too many places that I live on my edge to talk about here, and it appears to be something I'm quite good at, but there's one place I'd like to share with you. It's about facilitating the men's group, "Integral Warriors." When I was putting the group together, and not sure it would happen, a co-worker asked, "what makes you qualified to lead a men's group?" I could have turned that into a self-limiting belief, but instead followed my heart, where I knew inside that this is part of my purpose. I wrote about it to Anyaa, my beloved, last night:

The Men's group was amazing last night! I spoke about my edge at the group, even speaking to the fact that group is my edge (who am I to lead such a group of amazing men?), but here I am stepping into it successfully, and each of them loves the group and shows up every 2 weeks to be in the space I've created......Then their gratitude came up around what I've done, and how even the men who belong to MKP and other groups consider this their favorite and most provocative group......what a blessing!!!!

It's all about living at your edge and the quickening of sacred awakening through doing so, being alive and on purpose.

Are are you living at, or slightly beyond, your edge? Why not? What's stopping you?

photo of Gary at the top of Mt. Si, in Washington

Integral Warriors: Embodying the New Masculine, a men's group, Part two

This is a very different blog than I expected to write today. Judging by the early lack of enthusiasm around the concept of a SeattleIntegral men's group, I expected three, maybe four, men to show up at the first meeting last night. We had nine men show up and they seem to be exactly the right men.

Nine men! Nine brave men who all have powerful personal stories. Some came with a purpose, or mission, and some are not sure why they came, but feel called. I won't go into any personal stories, other than my own, if I feel it's relevant to a teaching or of possible value to others, and I won't mention the names of those who've shown up.

Some of the issues that came up are about purpose, addictions, relationship, money, forgiveness, self love, accountability, fear, trust, and what's holding us back?

For me, I know I need to be in the company of men. I need to hear the brutal truth about who I am and what I do, or don't do, from a masculine perspective. Like many men, I bathe and luxuriate in feminine energy, especially with my beloved (I've never met a woman who tells the truth so fearlessly and so compassionately as she). However, I also recognize that I've not paid enough attention to the polarity of the masculine in the company of men, and that's perspective I need to embrace. However good I might be at holding the Divine Masculine on my own, there's always a way to go deeper.

While aware of Jung's four archetypes used in other men's groups - the king, the magician, the warrior, the lover - and paying attention to the integration of all, the focus of those group will be David Deida's work, particularly around his book "The Way of the Superior Man."

I am also delighted at the chance to step deeper into my role as a spiritual teacher, and sharing the wisdom I've gained with other men, and learning from them as well. This is also not a free group. There is a small fee for each of the meetings. That's part of my commitment to be paid for the work I do, as well as the men's commitment to the value received for the time and effort I put in to facilitate and lead the group: part of my personal work around conscious abundance, as well.

Integral Warriors: Embodying the New Masculine

Why would I start an Integral Men's Group when there are plenty of men's groups already around (Sex, Passion, and Enlightenment - The Mankind Project)? Because they don't take specifically take a 4-quadrant/AQAL approach. We'll approach this group apllying Ken Wilber and David Deida's model. Starting in September, I hope to bring 6-10 men together to help each other discover what it means to embody the New Masculine from a second tier perspective. I also believe that this is some of the most important work that can be done today as we watch Patriarchy die kicking and screaming (see my previous three blogs).

What is a Men's group?

A men’s group is a group of men who meet regularly and are committed to the goals of learning to serve each other to deeper spiritual growth, keeping each other true to their deepest life’s purpose, and practicing giving their unique gifts to each other and the world. The teachings for this group will be based on the David Deida book, The Way of the Superior Man.

What will happen at Meetings?

Each meeting will follow a structured agenda of exercises with time included for giving each other feedback and encouragement in their practices of deep living based on the book The Way of the Superior Man and other teachings by David Deida. This group will determine our own logistics of meeting frequency and time.

Why should I join a Men's group?

Many men know how hard it is to follow through with deep, spiritual teachings in their everyday lives without any kind of support. Many have experienced the so called "rubber band effect" after attending a profound workshop or intensive. "Rubber-banding" is when you get stretched open beyond your normal boundaries in a challenging, or ecstatic situation, but then "snap back" to your more habitual patterns of behavior when you return to your everyday life. A men’s group provides a conscious community to support men’s continued growth of deep understanding and practice.

What will it cost, and what kind of commitment will be required?

Each member of the Men's group will be asked for a small donation at the meetings to help cover the cost and time of putting the meetings together. The time commitment will depend on how often the group will want to meet, but I recommend twice a month, and a commitment to attend twelve meetings except in the case of an emergency for Part I, and the first 6 chapters and 12 lessons will take place over those 12 meetings. Part II will complete coverage of the "A Man's Way" of the Superior Man.

Five reasons for a man to join a Men's Group:
Taken from "Way of the Superior Man", by David Deida

1) BEING IN THE COMPANY OF OTHER MEN
"A man discovers and fine tunes his purpose in solitude, in challenging situations, and in the company of other men who won’t settle for his bullshit. A mans capacity to receive another mans direct criticism is a measure of his capacity to receive masculine energy." Chap. 10

2) HAVING MEN HOLD YOU ACCOUNTABLE FOR LIVING YOUR DEEPEST PURPOSE
"Your mission is your priority, unless you know your mission and have aligned your life to it, your core will feel empty. Your presence in the world will be weakened, as will your presence with your intimate partner." Chap 30

3) MEN WHO ARE DEDICATED WITH YOU
"Be in the company of other men who are dedicated their lives to integrity, truth, and the heart. Men who are dedicated to live with an open heart and give their deepest gifts of love, mission and presence. The way a man penetrates the world should be the same way he penetrates his woman: not merely for personal gain or pleasure, but to magnify love, openness, and depth." Chap 9

4) SUPPORT YOUR EDGE WITH OTHER MEN
"Choose men friends who themselves are living at their edge, facing their fears and living just beyond them. Men of this kind can love you without protecting you from necessary confrontation with reality that your life involves." Chap 10

5) CUT THROUGH YOUR BS
"At least once a week, get together with your men friends to serve one another. Cut through the bullshit and talk with each other straight. Welcome such criticisms from your friends. Suggest challenges for each other to take on, in order to bring each other through the fears which limit your surrender in gifting." Chap 50