Living My Deepest Realization

Yesterday I wrote about a man's deepest realization with an adaptation from the book Intimate Communion by David Deida. Today I'm writing about what it means to me, personally, to live that deepest realization.

My sense is that most men simply have no idea what this means. Upon an initial examination, it's easy to confuse it with one's purpose, or mission, but it's actually much more simple than that: A man's deepest realization comes about simply by being totally present in the moment...and this moment...and this moment.....

Who are you when you connect to being fully present in each moment? What is your essence at that point when you let go of creating your story about yesterday, which no longer exists except as a memory, and tomorrow, which simply doesn't exist at all except as an expectation or a desire?

For me, it's not about being perfect at one thing - it's about being present at whatever I'm doing, and connecting to my source, whether I'm doing dishes, cleaning, being with my beloved, working at my purpose, or doing nothing at all. It's not about being enlightened, for to seek enlightenment would rob me of my freedom. When I'm present in the moment, it's as if the moment is luminous, and I am the witness to all that arises in that moment.

So how does a man do this? How do I do this? For me, it's based on my meditation practices of three years of sitting, and then having the realization that every moment is a meditation practice, an awareness of non-separation, a unity consciousness, and no longer feeling the need to sit, but to just be.

It doesn't mean that I'm not triggered, or that I don't plan for tomorrow, think about yesterday, hurt, cry, laugh. It means I do it all consciously, recognizing everything, and that I'm not tied to it. It's flexibility, it's flow, and it's freedom. And it's art....and it's love.

So stop reading this, take a deep breath, and relax into the the present moment....there is nothing else.

More Love, Less Suffering

MY BELOVED left Seattle this afternoon after spending 30 days here with me. For those of you who haven't read of Anyaa in this blog before (you must really be new!), she lives in North Carolina, and we've been in serious face-to-face relationship for 9 months, and began speaking on the phone for hours at a time 2 months before that.

This has been made possible because Anyaa facilitates The Shamanic Priestess Process (TM) all over the country and was just beginning a 9-month circle in Portland when she called me in, and I found her, thanks to an online dating site. We'll officially be at one year on August 30th. A milestone. She's now beginning a Seattle circle which will keep her coming back to Seattle for that period of time, maybe more.

What an amazing journey this has been with this amazingly conscious woman. I've never been in a relationship like this before, and she feels the same. The things we've manifested together during this 11 month period, starting with each other, are a wonder, and continue to unfold almost daily.

Already awakening in my own path, this relationship has kicked my consciousness into high gear, challenging me, calling me on my stuff - sometimes lovingly, sometimes brutally, read David Deida's The Way of the Superior Man - teaching me to compassionately receive not only love, but criticism, all the while keeping my heart open with having to defend myself or become defensive.

It continues to teach me about all the things I talk about in Big Love Integral: engulfment, abandonment, core wounds, opening - and to keep opening - my heart, all the relationship practices, expressing and releasing, how it all fits within an integral context, and much, much More.

I know....the title of this post, More Love, Less Suffering, is easy when things are going great, and much harder when it's not happening. But what that's about is, as Anyaa left this afternoon, I found myself not suffering, even though she won't be back for three weeks, when we'll get to spend another 10 days together, deepening once more. I'm not suffering because, as our love continues to deepen and keeps going to new unimaginable levels, I don't doubt.

Perfect....my own relationship inspires me to deeper and deeper levels with my Big Love workshop. Pure manifestation. This is my intent. This is my reality.

Finding God through Intimacy

I lie with my beloved, met in a way I never expected, both on our sides, face to face, bodies intertwined, our breath becoming one, the two becoming one, our hearts wide open in pure bliss and the ultimate blending of freedom and form. In this blissful awareness of Spirit and the divine essence of our original face, eros and agape, the One and the two, comes the realization of how to hold this BE-ing in all aspects of our lives.

When I step back from this sacred place, I carry that remembered realization into my everyday life with family, friends, associates, strangers, and even those with whom I feel tension, holding the remembrance of that sacred open heart space, continuing to open my heart to all.....and even if I have to fiercely battle with another, still holding that open heart. Intimacy with one can teach us this and open our hearts to all.

I keep going deeper and deeper with you.
apparently,
my depth with you
has no boundaries.
My long distance lover,
my precious beloved,
the one I've been preparing for
all my life;
I stand before you
surrendering to
and surrendering through
How we are,
Who we are,
What we are.
Nothing less than God.

Image by Camilo_C

Shamanic Breathwork and Open Heart

Hoo boy! Anyaa McAndrew's coming to Seattle next week and I get to do another session of Shamanic Breathwork! Like Big Mind (see the article below), Shamanic Breathwork can lay your heart wide open.

SeattleIntegral will be sponsoring a SBW weekend in June. Watch for more information.

Anyaa is a Shamanic/Transpersonal Psychotherapist, Ordained Priestess, Pastoral Counselor, Shamanic Astrologer, Shamanic Breathwork™ Facilitator, Imago Couples Counselor and Tantra teacher. She has a private practice and offers a variety of services. She teaches Tantra in the context of her couples counseling work and work with women.

Anyaa also teaches the Shamanic Priestess Process, intended for women only and women who are interested in expanding their spiritual life and also stepping more into their own personal and spiritual authority and “individuating from patriarchy,” all about women coming into their full, rich, beautiful and divine power.

Open Heart, Open Hands

I recently attended a discussion where I talked about how, when difficulty arose, I practiced keeping an Open Heart. Another man there asked what happened when I was through and my heart shut down, and I replied, "why would I shut my heart back down?"

What does it mean to fully open your heart? To allow whatever arises to come at you fully whether it is love, joy, or distress and pain? Sometimes even love can come to you in the form of distress. Even love can test our ability to hold an Open Heart. Ha! It is especially love that will test us!

As men, we are trained to shut things off, be strong, to be unfeeling and uncaring. Man up. How's that working for you?

It's not easy to hold an Open Heart. When it feels like you're being attacked it's the easiest thing in the world to shut down, close yourself off, thinking you're protecting yourself, when, in actuality, it's one of the worst thing we can do to ourselves. An Open Heart is the purest of love, and it can be learned. It's really quite simple.

It just takes practice. Here's way you might be able to do that.

Imagine someone in your life that you dearly love. It might be a lover, a parent, a child, a friend, whatever. Now feel into how your heart feels when you embrace them, and your heart opens to them.

Now choose an object that you can see. It might be a book, a desk, a chair, it doesn't matter. Now focus on that object, call forth the feeling of love and openness you felt for your loved one, and say to yourself, "I see this as being sacred and open my heart to it." Now, really feel into it, opening and allowing yourself to really connect with this object, concentrating on opening your heart. Practice until you can really feel yourself opening. Continue doing this with other objects throughout your day.

Next, start looking at other people the same way. At first, you'll forget, and fall back into your regular patterns, but eventually, and with enough practice, it will start to feel automatic with you. You can then apply this same learned technique, this practiced embodiment, and apply it to every situation in your life. This is the work of the Sacred Warrior.

This is particularly difficult when you're scared, or frightened that you might screw up, or that you might not be up to the task.....and there's no better time to practice. When it's happening to me, I have to be conscious of keeping my heart open, and reminding myself to always act for the highest good.

And when you master it, or when you just practice it, you'll be touching enlightenment and the very face of Spirit by whatever name you call it.

Digital image by Gary Stamper