Sunday, November 19, 2006

Postive Aspects of Anger, Part 1

This blog is, and always has been, a journal first, and a blog second. It's mostly about trying to figure out how to live a life, my life, in an integral manner. In the previous post, I promised to give some examples of how anger can be used in a positive way. This first personal example of anger acting in a positive way is related to an earlier post. I got quite a lot of comments on that post, and comments that I value, so I'm taking the position that I was being as authentic, and genuine, in that post as am capable of being at my current level of development. I suggest you go back and read it it before continuing.


Now that you've refreshed your memory on that post, I can continue this story. I was contacted again by this old girlfriend, with the suggstion that we get together. Had I completely let go of those old feelings? Nope! But....I was able to look at it without attachment, and without expectations, and still....This was a person who had meant something deep to me at one time.

We set up a time to meet.

Long story short, she backed out at the last minute (a familiar pattern) and over three almost incoherent emails, demonstrated her inability to relate to me in any meaningful manner, whatsover.

Long story short, again: I was angry, but not because she had cancelled, but rather, that I had allowed myself to get pulled into these familiar patterns, once again. I was also sad for her because she was either unable or unwilling to see what was going on, or worse, was a conscious participant in this game.

This time, I emailed her telling her that I only wanted people (friends, lovers, whatever) in my life who are able to come from an authentic place, and that I wasn't gong to allow this behavior in my life. I received one more email from her and I haven't, and won't, respond.

The point is, that I used my anger to break off a negative aspect in my life, which then became a postive aspect through my action. My anger, and my compassion for her, allowed me to choose not to continue in this pathological behavior, and made it possible for me to make that conscious decision to walk away.

I am sad for her, but I feel good about my choice.

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