What happens when we focus on our shadows? Constantly looking for the bad things? Can we eliminate them? Is our job ever done?
Desire, and wanting, is a gift from the Kosmos. Our desires define us, and make us the unique individuals we are. It's not desire in and of itself that needs to be suppressed, the problem is in not realizing that we will never have everything we want. Oh, we may get what we want right now, but then we're going to want something else, and when we have that, something else again. It never ends.
Let's say someone wanted to be in a relationship. Once they get that desire and they're in a relationship, they may want to move in together, or get married, and get a place of their own. A couple of years go by and they want a house. Then they may want a bigger house....or a smaller house. The point is, once one desire is fulfilled, others eventually move in to take its place.
The trick with desire is realizing we will never get everything we want.
It seems to me the same thing is true with my quest to expose my shadows. I may bring some to light and lessen the impact of that particular shadow on me, but there's always another one right behind it....and another..and another.....We are always going to have shadows. It's how we're made and how we work and don't work.
Shadow awareness is all about shifting our vantage point, to put the ego in perspective, and to turn the disassociated into the differentiated. The problem is, even shadow awareness appears to have a shadow.
I know Ken Wilber has said that our shadows are the single most important block in our transformation, and that we need to pay attention there can be no doubt. But recently I find myself paying so much attention to the shadow, I'm beginning to wonder what part my shadow is playing in the desire to disidentify with my shadow and bring it into the light?
In his recent teleconference call, Integral Institute's David Zeitler said there's an obsession within the integral community around transformation.
I wonder how much of that obsession is our shadow chasing our shadow? Like desire, there is no bottom, no ending to our shadows.