Today we breathed.....wow....
I'm exhausted, feeling fuzzy, and definitely in an altered state of consciousness.
We started out this morning with the first half of the group being breathed along with the second half holding space for them, or co-journeying.
After setting the space and making sure everyone knew what to expect (sort of....you never know what's going to come up during a breathwork), our very capable facilitators began the first session of the day. My Love, Anyaa, went with this group and I was honored to hold space for her during her process.
It didn't take long for the breathwork to take effect: within minutes breathers began crying, wailing, screaming, laughing, you name it. For the next two hours, breathers were safely guided through all the stuff that comes up during a breathwork, the light and darkness of shadow, no difference. Imagine being in a room with about 10-12 people in a temporary state of psychosis!
One of the things about breathwork is that whatever needs to come up, comes up. Unlike traditional therapy, where you have to fight the consciousness and resistance of the client, breathwork goes right to the subconscious. No escape if you're serious about seeing what your shit is (golden or the regular variety).
In the afternoon, the second group, which I was a part of, breathed. Same routine, different music. Anyaa held space for me during my journey.
For the last two days I've been feeling my shadow stuff, my wounds, bubbling up to the surface, and I pretty much knew I wasn't going to be disappointed. I wasn't. It didn't take long before I was sobbing, and soon literally wailing in agony at my anger and pent up grief. Over the next two hours, I experienced and raged against years of old anger and grief, fought, hit (safely contained by co-journeyers, floor walkers, and facilitators....), cried, yelled, screamed, reclaimed my fierce masculine (where I had been giving away my power), and finally found myself in an embrace with Mother Gaia, making love to the entire universe and all its inhabitants, including myself.
After being brought back to our embodied selves, we proceeded to the art barn to draw our mandalas of our journey, and then to a delicious dinner of healthy comfort food.
Anyaa and I have talked about our journeys, and tomorrow we begin processing and re-integration, the death and rebirth process that brings us all the way through our journeys safely, and hopefully, more complete human beings.
Tomorrow: processing and re-integration.