Ken Wilber says that the biggest obstacle to our unfolding consciousness is our shadow. Today's Integral Shaman (my phrase, but applicable, and particularly applicable to Venus Rising, even without knowing the integral approach) is all about shadow and light. The saying here is: "shadow, light: no difference." (Note: Venus Rising has the look of a new age organization. Don't be fooled....it ain't!)
Part of my shadow shows up through my joyous demeanor: the consummate happy, positive, enthusiastic guy...wakes up whistling. Of course, my shadow is the opposite: suppressed rage and anger...and boy, did it come out in yesterday's breathwork (see my previous blog)!
Today, we began the process of integrating our breathworks into our lives: An important aspect of breathwork not fully embraced by other versions of this work. Here's the story of my integration, just beginning to unfold with so much more processing to take place.
I'm not sure why I have repressed rage and anger, but my image of my perfect "leave it to beaver" childhood has been blown completely apart. I won't go into the details of that, because this is my story, not someone else's. Suffice it to say that this is powerful, powerful stuff that has come up.
Part of what else is beginning to be reintegrated is around relationship and intimacy and a new perspective on old habits and patterns. A lot of this had to do with the death of my college sweetheart, and how that has played out over and over again in my relationships and around my fear of loss. Consequently, I've held on too tightly sometimes, overwhelming the other. I've written a lot about relationship and am developing a workshop around conscious relationship, and this experience will be invaluable toward that end.
The last part of the breathwork integration is about my relationship with the world and the universe. I had a vision of me making love to the world, offering my heart and protection to all beings, but the mandala I drew around that vision appeared to also have a smothering aspect, something that also came up around intimacy and my fear of loss.
The work I have to do around this will take a long time, but I now know what it is, and am developing a plan to work through it. I know my relationship with my beloved depends on my doing that and I intend to step smack dab in the middle of the shit to make sure it gets done.
This is not work that I feel can be done through the 3-2-1 Shadow Process of the ILP from Integral institute. It could be done through years of serious psychotherapy, but breathwork is much, much more immediate and cuts right through our defenses and our bullshit. It sure ain't for sissies. The people who are here doing this work are courageous and bold, and not afraid to face their deepest fears.
The Shamanic Breathwork (TM) Process will be coming to Seattle in June, and we'll begin the marketing when I return. It will be a 3-day (Fri. night, all-day Saturday, and Sunday, June 22, 23, 24), and if you really want to step into the next dimension beyond the shadowplay workshop SeattleIntegral sponsored in October of last year, this will be for you.....
....if you're really ready......
For the rest of you, consider doing a Shamanic Breathwork (TM) weekend or 8-day intensive with Venus Rising. Quite simply, it could change your life.
tomorrow: we breathe again, and I expect more of the same for me as I continue to process what's already come up.
Image: copyright Disciples press