The Elimination of a Shadow

This is not her fault, it is mine. This is not her story, it is mine. She was everything I ever wanted in a woman....beautiful (to me), intelligent, awake....and she boldly professed her love for me as I was cautiously and carefully holding back, not wanting to loosen my heartstrings too quickly, or to frighten her off. After her proclamation, I immediately opened my heart and allowed her full access to it based on her words and my belief in them.

Not too much later (the whole thing only lasted three months) she began pulling away. I won't go in to the reasons why, except to say part of it (I believed) was that she had deep unresolved pain from an earlier event that I can't begin to imagine from my masculine perspective. I readily admit I didn't handle her pain well. Instead of just being there for her, I thought I might be able to fix things for her. I was terribly wrong, and in that sense, I didn't deserve her in my pre-David Deida masculine/feminine world.

We thought we could be friends (I thought if I could be around her long enough she'd eventually come around). Again, I was wrong. I remember the blood draining from my face and my world crashing around me as she told me of her desire to be with another man as we had finished dinner one night in a restaurant. During a walk around Greenlake together later that evening, I was able to pull it together, but it was clearly over. I despised her for her cruelty, and loved her still. We tried to be friends (she continued pulling away, I continued hoping she'd change her mind) but we were fooling ourselves.We stopped seeing each other.

Several months later, she contacted me and apologized for the way she had acted. We agreed to try to be friends, and wound up on another walk around Greenlake, and when it was over, we agreed to a movie or dinner soon, and she invited me to call her. After three calls, and three "I can't's," I stopped calling. I don't remember how I found out (a forwarded email?), but it wasn't long after that she moved, changed her email, and her phone number without leaving any forwarding info. End of story. That was three years ago. All this time, I've been putting her out of my mind, rather unsuccessfully.

Forward to last week. I'm on Match.com, looking for a conscious relationship, and I get an email from her (she's on Match, too), suggesting we might talk and get together for a walk. I'm still wrapped up, even three years later, with the memory of that relationship, but wiser and not willing to step into anything without care. After a couple of emails, I tell her I'd like to see her, but I'm not going to pursue it, and she will have to do the reaching out, if we're to meet.

Meanwhile, I begin the 3-2-1 Shadow process, from the Shadow Module of the Integral Life Practice on the whole thing, and I have this shadow conversation with her, wherein I am able to let the whole thing go and come to complete acceptance with the realization that I am not in love with this person, but, rather, in love with who I thought she was, and the ideal I was projecting on her. Totally unfair to her, and to me. But mostly, there's the realization that the person I was in love with may not even exist, except in my own shadow projection.

And with that, I free myself from my projection, and from the hold I allowed her to have on me, and accept that it doesn't matter if I hear from her, because I don't know who she is....I only know who I thought she was, and who I wanted her to be. With that, I'm one step closer to knowing who I am. I can stop consoling and deluding myself around this one choice. More importantly, I can, in my own mind, free her of any responsibility for my feelings.

By the way...she hasn't contacted me as of this writing, and I'm perfectly fine with that.

Don't Just Sit There...Do Something! (Part 1)

There are people in the Seattle Integral Salon, SeattleIntegral, that I've never met. Sure, some are from London, Germany, South America, Australia, New Zealand, and even Phoenix and DC. But there are of lot of local members on our discussion list, who live in, or around, Seattle, that have never come to an event, written or answered a post on that list, or done anything integral at all that I'm aware of. Of course, just because I'm not aware of it doesn't make it so.

Maybe some of these people (Lurkers, as they are known in group world) are doing amazing things that would blow us all away. If they are, I would hope they would be inspiring the rest of us to greater horizontal and vertical awareness by modeling the possibilities for the rest of us.......but most lurkers just lurk.

This isn't my first list. I belong to Don Beck's Spiral Dynamics Integral list, and I was a member of the Ken Wilber Yahoo list for a couple of years, until it started getting nasty, and I decided to opt out. I also belong, and have belonged, to several other lists, local and internationally. I created the SeattleIntegral list and have moderated it for these last three years, through good, and some difficult, times. On these various lists, we've had lots of discussions about lurkers, and when those have happened, sometimes a lurker will speak up. According to the few who do speak up, sometimes they're just too busy (but not too busy to read?), some don't feel they have enough knowledge to contribute (but knowledgeable enough not to ask questions?), and some are just shy.

Then there are those with agendas.

The agenda joiners don't want you to know who they are, and won't introduce themselves to the group. Geoffrey Falk, self-proclaimed Wilber critic and cult writer, quietly joined our list and proceeded to write a scathing analysis of a social event (a social event??? That's what you got?) we sponsored without ever asking one of us what our intentions were. Even today, a year later, I can't take Falk seriously because of his rash assumptions and because his shadow mercilessly appears in his criticisms. According to Wikipedia, Falk apparently had an abusive experience with a community. I feel compassion for him, but I'm not going to let him beat up on me or SI.

I've also recognized people from other lists, who have tried to join the SI list, who were extremely disruptive when allowed to participate. I've told more than one, upon joining the group, that I would not tolerate the behavior they exhibited on other sites, and that if they started, I would remove them immediately. They were also told that if they wanted to conduct respectful exchanges with others, they would be welcome. They didn't stay.

But, I'm not really talking about the agenda joiners. The ones I've been thinking about do nothing.....and I think I know why a lot of them do nothing, and I'll address it in another posting, soon.

Bumper sticker image from the iBoutique

A Shameless Personal Plug

Those of you who know me, know and understand that I'm seeking ways to turn my integral passion into an integral living, without becoming a "consultant." This posting is a brief rundown on how I'm going about making that happen.

First, I'd like you to visit a new website/artifact I've created, the i-Boutique, with the help of Cafe Press. Here, I'm using my design abilities, along with my razor-sharp wit (UL), to create integral apparel (UR) with an attitude (UL again). The current designs are integrally-themed and also include some apparel designs for SeattleIntegral. To avoid any conflict of interest, as one of the leaders of SeattleIntegral, all the profits from the sale of SeattleIntegral related items go to support the Seattle salon (LL). Please buy a lot.

Second, I'd like you to visit my regular website, www.garystamper.com. I'm an internationally known designer, having won several intenational design awards, and an accomplished illustrator. One of my most recent projects was the design of the book cover for Don Beck's newest book, a re-release of The Crucible: Forging South Africa's Future in Search of a Template for the World.

Another path is a startup company called Integral Marketing Associates. This will probably eventually shift to my main site, as one of my goals is to provide design, illustration, marketing, web design, and presentation materials to the integral community. IMA is the company you won't have to explain the integral concepts to......I already get you and your audience. The motto of this startup is "Marketing From All Four Quadrants."


I'm continuing to look for ways to support myself through my passions: Art and Integral. Another way I'm trying to do that is through this blog. Some of you may have noticed I've begun posting some advertising links on this blog. No one has complained, and I hope that's not because no one's reading! I found out about how to do this through Steve Pavlina's blog, "Personal Development For Smart People." That's me....and you, or you wouldn't be reading me! I invite you to go to the top of the page, see the links, and click through on some of them if they interest you. When you do, I get paid, and you don't even have to buy anything!

And last, there's Seattle Body Paint....I have no idea how this fits in with Integral....It's just a hell of a lot of fun for all the obvious reasons!

Groups and Dominate Modes of Discourse

Recently, integral salon leaders from around the world, friends all, even though I haven't met them all....yet...were hit with a request from one of us to help with the energy of the salon they lead. Another salon leader followed that up with their own questions about dominant voices taking over meeting with uninformed knee-jerk reactions, leaving the leaders of the group struggling with how to handle those situations. I'll eventually post the entire conversation (as soon as we've agreed how), but wanted to share some insights on group process that we've learned frome at SeattleIntegral. Lord knows, we've had our share of disastrous meetings! I remember one Meetup in particular, that had fallen apart with those knee-jerk reactions, where my wise-beyond-her-years friend Kari and I sat across from each other smiling and laughing inside, and wondering, what the F*** just happened? Here's an excerpt I posted from the email exchange.

Judging from the experiences we've had at SeattleIntegral, this is a common problem with groups. What we've learned is that the conversation will be dominated by whatever holonic level the majority of attendees intersect at. In other words, wherever your "dominant mode of discourse" (Integral Spirituality, Chapt. 7, page 149) is located, that's the level where the conversation takes place....and if the Dominate Monad of the majority of attendees is at first tier, you're going to have a first tier conversation (I just went nuts when I read this...it was exactly what we had been dealing with! Ken did it again!)

Now, there are some things you can do about that: be aware of the dominant monads of the individuals attending your meeting, if possible (you'll learn who is what very quickly in these situations, but it may take several meetings), and set up your meeting accordingly. Second tier, or teal/turquoise can skillfully guide the conversation by setting the tone of the meeting response before that participation begins.

For example, if your dominate mode of discourse is amber (mythic-membership), set up rules ahead of time.....If it's orange (achiever), set up rewards or a goal to be accomplished....if it's green (individualist), well, good luck, and goodbye! No, seriously, set up the abilty for everyone to have a voice, but limit the time for each (because you only have so much time, right?).

Another thing you do is set a "safety system" with other second tier group members, who understand that when things start to go toward a first tier dominate mode of discourse, you gently guide the conversation back (understanding each others roles in this situation and what to look out for ahead of time is critical).

We've learned these things from having meetings go right out the window because we lost control. Our leadership group, the Core Group, has mostly second tier people trying to learn how to operate as a second tier leadership group, but, in any group, if you have a couple of people at first tier consciousness, and we all have elements of other levels and stages that sometimes show up in our shadows, therein lies the challenge.

The final point I'll make is that our salons (yours? Ours? Anybody?) seem to be made up of mostly of orange and green-emergent-to-whatever folks, (with a little blue now and then) and our job as second tier salon leaders is to be able to provide the context and a space where consciousness can grow and people can be helped in whatever ways possible to see both horizontal and vertical perspectives.

We are not trying to run a second tier salon. We're trying to develop a second tier leadership group, a very different thing. This Core Group is trying to develop what the next evolutionary phase of an Integral Salon might look like. We don't tell our "sub-groups" what to do, how to think, what to program, anything.....We're "only" trying to provide a larger context for more complexity.

We're actively pursuing Holacracy/Sociocracy as a governance system (like I-I), in the hope that the other sub-groups might join in that circle to create a larger organization. We've just approved our first set of by-laws (again, that govern the Core Group, not the sub-groups), and a lot of other things.

So, back to what we don't do: All of the Core group members are also members of various sub-groups, so we have a very good idea what the ITP/ILP, IOS, Integral Spirituality, Meetup groups are doing (these Core Group members are, in most cases, guiding those groups to a certain extent, if only by example).

As long as we have first tier folks who cognitively get this stuff but can't embody it, we have to take it to them...we have to have these conversations in their language, with just enough taste to allow them to question, to create the disorienting dilemmas, and also allow them to move at their own speed.

The reason the remainder of the group is functioning so well, is because we're all on the same page. Some of us have gone through the "Generating Transformative Change in Human Systems" program from Pacific Integral (google them), and we've had a great deal of experience with Integral Leadership, shared altered states of consciousness and their various energy fields, and have a dominant mode of discourse. Some previous members were asked to leave....second tier cannot fear hierarchies, and if someone isn't fitting in, or is getting in the way of the group progress, they have to go: The compassion of the blade.

How we "regulate" that is that no longer can anyone just "Join" the Core Group. You would need to be invited to join, or you could petition the group. Most of us are certified through the GTC program to Integral Assessments on groups and people, and most have done the Cook-Grueter Leader Development Profile (LDP), so we know what our individual action-logic is, and to be in the Core group, you'd need to be at the Strategist level (second tier), or pretty damn close.

Now, as for the groups where the discussions start getting out of hand, we generally have a minimum of 2-3 Core Group members at most meetings and when the discussion starts going south, we're not afraid to pull it back, and to tell people why. This is a conscious response from the Core group members because we have talked about how to respond in certain situations. That does not mean that we don't allow Amber, Orange, or Green to share what they're thinking, but it does mean sometimes pointing out the ways that thinking is amber, Orange, or Green, and why.

One of our favorite sayings is, "well, that's a perspective".....and then moving on....

So how do we open a meeting where we know there will a combination of several memes? An opening statement might be something like "we're going to follow these rules (amber/mythic), so we can accomplish (Orange/achiever) such-and-such, and everyone will have a chance to be heard (Green/egalitarian)...and since we only have this much time......." Remind Amber that rules need to be followed, Orange that we have goals, and Green that others need to be heard.

Original Image by Gary Stamper at the iBoutique

Consciousness Shifts and the Middle Class

Historically, there have been three types of government rule: Warlords, Theocracy, and Aristocracy. Although there have been occasional pockets of democracy throughout history, it has not, by any means, been the norm. During the 18th, 19th, 20th centuries, and early into the 21st, we have been engaged in a rather spectacular experiment never seen before on this scale.

We all know what warlords look like: they are the Genghis Khans and the Sadaam Husseins. They may take on the look of a somewhat modern society, and use the tools of modern society, but make no mistake: They are warlords pure and simple, and operate from an egocentric, or a pre-operational consciousness level.

A theocracy, on the other hand, is the church-state of Catholicism, some Islamic-Muslim states, and the Church of England (and the US if we're not careful), just to name a few, and operate from absolutist, conformist (conform or else), mythic, authoritarian, and ethnocentric consciousness.

Aristocracies, such as Kings, corporate states, and ruling classes, operate primarily from strive drive, rational, or concrete operational consciousness, most of the time ruling by controlling who has the money. Egocentric and ethnocentric Wealth rules.

But every so often in history, there arises the phenomenon of democracy....and by democracy, I'm not talking about lassiez-faire capitalism, but the rise of a middle class, and the power that comes with it.

There many things that democracies have in common, but there are a couple you might not have thought about. For instance, do you know what the Renaissance, The Enlightement, and the Age of Aquarius of the 21st century all had in common?

For one thing, they were all preceeded by societies that had developed a strong middle class. Let me explain how.

The Renaissance was preceeded by the Bubonic Plague, the "Black Death," that took one-third of Europe's population. Afterwards, there was an extreme shortage of labor, and to get things done, wages increased dramatically, creating a middle class that had leisure time: Time to think, do art, create...and ask serious questions.

The Enlightenment was preceeded by Spain's forays into the New World, where they brought gold back in droves, creating untold wealth and also creating a middle class across Europe ...again....time to think, time to do, as opposed to having to pay attention to just surviving.

The Age of Aquarius, those quaint 60's some of us older folks had the pleasure of living through, were actually started by the founding fathers of this country, almost 200 years before. The American Revolution wasn't a wealthy class creating an elitist country. For the most part, America was created by middle class people who were throwing off the chains of an oppressive aristocratic form of government. Yes, there were some who wanted to keep a new aristocracy in place, like John Adams, but the middle class won out. A Worldcentric consciousness bloomed.

Now move that some 150 years forward with Roosevelt correcting the faults of a corporate aristcracy that drove America into the Great Depression, coining the term "a living wage", the strenghtening of unions, and the creation of the greatest middle class ever seen, culminating at it's peak in the 1970's. Pow! The Age of Aquarius.... In fact, it was so powerful, that other countries are actually doing it better than we are today, since Reagan began systematically dismantling the middle class in the 1980's.

Today, we're seeing the emergence of another level consciousness: the Integral Movement. The middle class has not yet completely gone away, despite conservative efforts to return us to a ruling aristocracy, and soon we may see the emergence of an integral population large enough to significantly impact the world we live in...it is well on it's way.

Democracy....a middle class....evolving consciousness....Kosmoscentric conciousness...perhaps enough to make a permanent difference in how we all live on this tiny planet.

Coming soon: a plan to have the integral movement and salons move into politics and begin making a difference in local elections.

An in-depth review of Ken Wilber's new book, Integral Spirituality

We are now past the fourth meeting of our SeattleIntegral "sub-group," The Integral Spirituality Group, dedicated to the study of Ken Wilber's newest book, Integral Spirituality: A Startling New Role for Religion in the Modern and Postmodern World.

SeattleIntegral's Integral Spirituality Group is the first formal IS Group on the West Coast and is a combination of experience and study centered around Ken's new book. Integral Spirtuality attempts to include the profound insights of the great spiritual traditions - respecting their essential identities - while exploring new forms of practice and realization, seeking a trans-path to the future of religion....no small task!

Our meetings have provided many insights into Wilber's new perspectives (known as Wilber 5), including insights to our own perspectives. Crucial to these insights is the expansion of the AQAL model (a combination of interior/exterior/individual/collective, or the four quadrants), into eight perspectives, or zones, pointing out that every quadrant has an interior and exterior (1st person, 2nd person perspective) element that must now be considered.

In other words, meditation is an Upper Left experience of the AQAL model. But if I'm talking about my meditation, that's a first-person experience of the UL quadrant. If I'm talking about your meditation, that's a second-person perspective of a first-person experience. Simple, huh?

As an artist, I intuitively and immediately understood the importance of perspectives. What I see depends entirely upon where I stand. At one meeting, I drew out a landscape looking at a mountain range across the plains, with telephone poles and road diminishing in the distance toward the mountains. I then proposed, what if I were standing over here, instead of where I was standing in my original drawing? Would not my perspective be different?

What we see, our perspective, largely depends on the culture in which we were brought up. In Integral Spirituality, Ken brings new understanding and tolerance for the perspectives of others....among many other wonders.

Wilber's new book "is a mighty challenge to religious leaders and sincere religionists everywhere, one that teems with original insights that could (or at least should) define the future of world religion." For an in-depth review, go here, and scroll down about a third of the way on the right hand side.

How To Start An Integral Salon, Part 2

Tomorrow night, Wednesday, October 4th, is our monthly SeattleIntegral/Ken Wilber Meetup. It will be the 44th official Seattle Ken Wilber Meetup, a group that officially formed on February 20, 2003. There's a lot of history, there, and a lot of experience, some difficult, mostly very, very good.

The first step in building a new integral salon, or in finding one, is knowing where to look for others who are thinking as you do. I suggest starting with Ken Wilber Meetups. Go to the "Find Ken Wilber Fans" page to find out if there's already a group in your area, and if there is one, join it and start growing it. If you don't already have a Meetup in your city, start one. This is where most of our members came from, and where they continue to come from.

I remember well the nights when only Jake Werre (we met through the Meetup network), one of the other SI co-founders, and I would show up in the basement coffee shop at the Elliott Bay Bookstore in Pioneer Square. I also remember committing to be there at every meeting, no matter how few people showed up. I knew this was important, because people had to know that someone would be there, and no one should show up for a Ken Wilber Meetup and find no one had shown up.

In December of 2003, Jake was out of town, or something, and I was the only one who showed up. As I sat there, wondering where the others were who where surely interested in Ken Wilber, I knew we'd have to start doing something different if we were going to attract other fans of Wilber (I'll address that "something different" in Part Three).

This was purely selfish on my part. Oh, I knew if we could get something going, it could benefit a lot of people, but what I was looking for wasn't out of altruism........I just wanted others to talk to about this stuff that was changing the way I looked at the world: People I could learn from, hear different takes, get different perspectives, understand more.

The lesson from Part Two is to commit to showing up: Whether you're the one who shows up or if you're one of many, your commitment can make all the difference in the world.

All the while I was searching for others on the internet, and there weren't that many places to look. I'm grateful to Leonard and Murphy's Integral Transformative Practice website where I found Larry Jacobson, Blaine Snow, and Tom Mull. The ITP site has a page on forming an ITP group, and from there, you can go to a forum where you can connect with other ITP practitioners, most of whom have an interest in Wilber. Find the people in your city and invite them to meet with you.

I'm also grateful to Frank Vissar's Integral World website. Although it hasn't been updated in a while, there's also a list of Meetup cities.

Of course, if you aren't looking on the Integral Institute site, you're not really looking. Go to the Regional Community Spaces pages and look for your region, groups, and people. Find a group. Start one.

Last, look at iSalons.net, a loose federation of integral salons from all over the world that is a bottom-up effort at organizing salons, and, in some ways, is way ahead (for now) of Integral Institutes' Integral Matrix, probably because it is a bottom-up effort, and not top-down. Most of these folks know what they are doing, because they've done it (tell them how much you like their logo!...heh, heh....)

Most of all, have fun, and know that you're not alone. You just gotta set your intention and attraction forces and find the others. Before you know it, you'll be looking directly back into your own face.

Next: When Meetup no longer has the tools to grow a group.

iSalons.net logo by Gary Stamper

How To Start An Integral Salon, Part 1

As one of the original four co-founders of SeattleIntegral, and as the moderator for the Seattle Ken Wilber Meetup before that, I know something about starting and building an Integral Salon. In about three years time, SeattleIntegral has grown from four original members to over 140 members today.

Not the largest i-salon in the world (London is bigger, and NYC's KW Meetup is, too), it appears safe to say that SeattleIntegral is having more impact in the integral world than any other salon. There are a lot of reasons for this, not the least of which is the heart of it's members and their willingness, and eagerness, to engage from the highest perspectives possible. Although important in setting the context for this article, that's really a separate conversation.

Today, we have our own website (version 1.0), an online discussion group, and have spawned several smaller groups, which we refer to as "sub-groups," including:

• The SeattleIntegral Ken Wilber Meetup, which serves as a new-members' orientation and open discussion
• An Integral Spirituality Group, studying Ken's new book Integral Spirituality
• An Integral Psychology Group
• An IOS (integral Operating System) study group
• A 2-year old ITP/ILP practice group
• iCAN, The Integral Cable Access Network
• and the Core Group, dedicated to leading the salon into the future
  

We have just started a monthly newsletter, maintain a calendar of events with some of the most amazing events and more to come, and are always looking for the opportunity to start new groups under the community umbrella of SeattleIntegral.

Over the course of a few postings, I'm going to lay out one path (certainly not the only path) on how to start and build an Integral Salon. Of course, how it happens in your community might be totally different than how we did it here in Seattle. I can't think of any American city that has a larger Green-emergent-to-Teal/Turquoise population than Seattle. ...and where there's green, there's emergence. You might be in Kansas or Ohio, or even South Africa, or Palestine...or anywhere. Perhaps learning how we've done it will inspire you to follow, modify, learn from, build on, and better what we've done.

We can only hope. But remember, as I said in my previous post, Ken says that 5% of the population is at second-tier, and that it will be 10% in the next few years. Your job, as a salon leader, is to provide a space where you and these people can come together in community, and a context in which their, and your, consciousness can grow and expand.

To be continued.......

See the T-shirt that has this posts' graphic here - designed by Gary Stamper

Why Liberals Can't Get It Together

Oh, those simpler days when everything was black and white, and right and wrong seemed like such absolutes. There was a God who loved us immensely, and would punish all those who didn't believe. I have a friend, and he is a friend, who is very conservative, and has a habit of blaming all of our troubles on liberals. For him, even though he is integrally informed, life is also simple, full of absolutes, and blame.

Absolutism is a first tier quality, particularly an Amber (Blue in Spiral Dynamics terms) quality where order and authority reign supreme. For Amber, life is black and white, and there aren't a lot of choices to be made. Amber accepts authority and whatever "norms" or law they are told to respect. Doesn't really matter what culture it's in, Amber follows the rules of that culture. For my purposes, I'm referring to Amber in the context of the USA. Amber, along with early Orange, makes up most of the conservative population.

Developmental psychologists pretty much agree, across the board, that development, or consciousness, as I'm using it, unfolds in a spiral, or stages, of ever-increasing complexity. To simplify, they may disagree on what those stages are, but agree that there are stages. People who are at Tribal (Purple...we'll continue using Spiral Dynamics) levels of consciousness are more complex than people who are at Survival (beige) levels. People who are at the Power (Red) level are more complex than Purple, Blue more complex than Red, Orange more complex than Blue, and Green, the last bastion on first tier conciousness and home of Liberalism, more complex than the preceding stages.

So, if liberalism is more complex than conservativism, what's the problem? The problem is the complexity itself, still wrapped in first tier absolutism (or rather, an anti-absolutism that is ironically absolute), where every level level of consciousness, or stage, thinks every other stage else is flat wrong. Green sees so many paradoxes it can't decide which way to go, and since Green also refuses to see hierarchically (natural occurences where some truths are more true than others), it can't agree on a course of action. It's really a menu so over-laden with choices that no choices can be made. Green's "Boomeritus" syndrome is so powerful that Green, who says everybody is right, literally can't choose one course of action over the other.

Complexity's a bitch at the top of first-tier thinking. Liberals, or democrats, can't even decide how to respond to conservative absolutism.

On Sunday, during the SeattleIntegral Shadow Workshop, Ken Wilber told us that about 5% of the world's population is now at second-tier consciousness, and that once the population reaches 10% in the next few years, there will be a monumental shift in consciousness.

Until that time, we must keep introducing Integral Thinking to that portion of the population who are Green emergent to teal, or second tier.

It can't happen too soon.

To see the T-Shirt with the SDi graphic, click here.

An Amazing Shadow Workshop from SeattleIntegral

One of the many, many things I love about SeattleIntegral is that we get to do some really cool shit with some really cool people! This weekend's Shadow Play Workshop, facilitated by the incredibly warm and light-hearted Linda Nicholls, also featuring a 90-minute live teleconference call with Ken Wilber on the shadow, is a perfect example.

In this all-day workshop, Linda approached Shadow Work in a playful manner, turning what could be gruelling, painful work into a fun, light day with many aha! moments, brought to light by the excercises, role playing, and "games," making us aware of the paradoxes that shadow presents, and also aware that shadow isn't necessarily our "enemy," but possibly even a friend, and vital energy in need of transformation.

In one scenario, we were paired with another attendee, and had to create a "movie script" for each other, placing that person as a "hero," or "heroine," in the script we created for them. There were some incredibly funny scenarios created, and then the tables were turned on us when we were told that we then had to assume those roles ourselves....a great lesson in projection, and great fun.

No small part of the impact of the day was our live 90-minute call with Ken. Ken was as warm and personable as he is on Integral Naked, or in private conversation. You get a totally different picture of him in conversation than is possible in his books, as wonderful as they obviously are. His humor and compassion really shine. After a few warm up greetings, I asked Ken to tell us why shadow is the main impediment to our growth. Rather than tell you about it, I hope to have a recording of the call posted soon. What I will share with you is how much of an impact the portion on Group Shadow, a particularly nasty thing, had on me and how I will try approach group activities with an increased awareness of the possibility of my, and the group, shadow butting in and wreaking havoc.

The event was a great introduction to shadow work, and I'm guessing all of the attendees will be just a little less shy about taking the next step: some personal shadow work with a qualified integral therapist....I'm looking for names....all the good ones I know (like Venita) are my friends!

A Conversation in Big Mind

"I want to speak to the Controller."
"Who am I speaking to?"
The Controller: "The Controller"
"What do you do?"
The Controller: "I control things."
"What kind of things do you control?"
The Controller: "Everything I can."
"Why do you control?"
The Controller: "Because I'm the Controller."
"Why is it important to control?"
The Controller: "To keep myself safe."
"What happens if you lose control?"
The Controller" "For me it's unthinkable."
"Controller, I'd like your permission to speak to someone else."
May I have permission, Controller, to speak to the Damaged Self?"
The Controller: "Yes."
"I'd like to speak to the Damaged Self."
"Who am I speaking with?"
The Damaged Self: "The Damaged Self."
Why are you called the Damaged Self?"
The Damaged Self: "Because I'm damaged."
"How did you get damaged?"
The Damaged Self: "Others...other people, other voices, neglect, hurt, other anything."
"What is your function as the Damaged Self?"
The Damaged Self: "I'm the resevoir for all that pain, all that crap..."
"If you were in your parents' house, where would they put you?"
The Damaged Self: "In the Basement......"


And so goes BIG MIND....opening our separate selves, not threatening the ego, causing it to resist, but allowing all of our different aspects and being to come forward, unafraid, because they know they are safe and protected.

Genpo Roshi, creator of BIG MIND, told several of us a couple of weeks ago, when we were blessed to meet with him in a small, intimate group, that Ken Wilber calls Big Mind the fourth major turning of the Wheel of Dharma in Buddhism. The first being the enlightenment of Shakyamuni Buddha, the second being the rise of Mahayana Buddhism, and the third being the philospophy of Nagarjuna. With a mastery born of more than thirty years of teaching, Genpo Roshi has enabled thousands of participants in Big Mind workshops to gain profound insights and taste for themselves the illuminating experience from which Buddhism and all the world's great religions originate.

Having done this practice for over a year, I can tell you it's a path from zero to non-dual awareness in almost nothing flat. Get yourself to a workshop or DVD as quickly as you can.

The Integral "U" Process

In most situations, when something happens to us, we go directly from downloading the information, reacting to what has happened, and embodying the results of that reaction, or whatever comes up for us, with no deepening.

With the Integral "U" Process, we take the time to go to an open mind (gross realm) to Open Heart (subtle realm) to Open Will (causal realm) allowing the stillness, the source, to arrive.

This is known as "Presencing." Down the "U" on the left, up the "U" on the right, embodying a deeper solution than is possible by reacting.

Blogging from the Source

I've just returned from a 4-hour workshop on Insight Dialogue facilitated by Terri O'Fallon, and I'm still in an altered state of conciousness as a result of that deep causal meditative experience. I thought it might be interesting to write while still in that altered state and see what happens.

It's not like I haven't experienced creativity from the source before. Long before I became a serious mediator, I spent many, many hours in the causal realm as an artist, "letting go, letting come." I've also had a 10-year career as a professional musician, so I've experienced the causal state in group process, on stage with other musicians, as you forget about what notes to play and just let it flow with each other in perfect accord.

I didn't really know what either of those experiences were until I learned how to go really deep, by myself, and with others, in meditation. I only knew that those experiences felt really, really good.

There are lots of good ways to go deep with meditation, but the best way that I know of in my limited experience, to go deep with a group of people who are interested in sourcing dialogue, is through Insight Dialogue. Combined with the Integral "U" Process, Insight Dialogue is a way to go deeper and deeper into meditative awareness in interpersonal life.

The Integral Life Practice group I'm a member of has been using this process for about 4 months, and our conversations have definitely taken a turn toward deeper intimacy. The Core Group of SeattleIntegral also uses this process to guide us in our leadership role.

While the process can be used to deepen conversation around a particular subject, or issue, today it was just splendid to sit with the small group of five people we broke off into (three of whom I had never met before!) and connect in the causal realm where words aren't even necessary for everyone to understand what is being said. "Blissing Out" in group.

Sweet as that is, where it really impacts my life is with a core group of dear, dear friends, with whom I've practiced on a regular basis, and where we can instantly drop down into subtle and causal states simply by being in each other's prescence.

Hoo-boy! I am BUZZING!

Friends

THIS is what I'm talkin' about!!!!

Leadership as Practice

I've been struggling with starting this post...part of my hesitancy is fear that I'm not really qualified to write about this, but then, I have been, and still am, a leader within a growing community. On the other hand, I sometimes do it very poorly.

Just this weekend, there's been a row about the website I built and launched for the SeattleIntegral community. Perhaps my first mistake was asking for input. Boy, did I get it! On the other hand, again, we only had about 3 people out of almost 150 members, who were complaining about the website. Now, in my regular job as a graphic artist, I know that about 10% of the people are going to complain no matter what you do. 3 out of 150 is a whole lot less than 10%, so I know I must have done a pretty good job. Not perfect, but good. After all the website, like me, is a work in progress.

The issue with leadership comes up with the question of how one responds when face with pure criticism and no support? Like most people, I am sorely tempted to lash out in response, utterly and completely destroying the infidel complainer(s) for their impertinence. There was a time when I would have done that without a second thought.

This is not that time.

One of the things I've learned over the past few years is that I'm not going to change minds by lashing out. It only makes me look bad, as well, and runs the risk of losing any support that might exist. People know when someone is lashing out, and people generally know the difference between constructive criticism offered with love and compassion, and de-constructive criticism, offered with an agenda and shadow.

At the same time there is the issue of "idiot compassion." We all know what that is: self-indulgence of thinking that you are creating a compassionate situation when in fact you are feeding the other person's aggression. So how do you respond? Damn! A paradox!

What I'm trying to become better at is to take my time in my responses...to lead from a place of wisdom instead of reaction. I try to take the time to ask myself, "How would I respond if I were truly second tier?"

Do that enough times and it becomes a habit...engrained and manifested in your being. Another case of "practice makes perfect."

Or, in this case, at least a little better today than I was yesterday

More on Integral Relationship

Some of us at SeattleIntegral are talking about starting a new subgroup: Integral Relationship.

How do we be in relationship from an AQAL (All-quadrants, All Levels) perspective? Not just intimate relationship with a beloved, but also in our daily lives with the people we work with, immediate and extended family, people we just come into contact with (although I readily admit I would like to have one of those intimate relationships with a beloved).

I'm reading Conscious Loving: The Journey to Co-Commitment by Gay and Kathlyn Hendricks. It's described as a way to be fully together without giving up yourself. I heartily recommend it. Nothing new. Which is precisely what makes this so good. This is the stuff of time-tested common sense. From an Amazon review: "If the Hendricks message is to be boiled down to one catch-phrase, it would simply be: "wake up." It is not so much about change, as it is about living with our eyes open, fully aware (conscious) of why we do what we do, how we feel while we are doing it, and which way we will go next. Instead of moving through a fog, we instead make conscious choices." It also demands we hold ourselves and our partners accountable.

Conscious choices. How do I live my life at this very moment? It's a question I'm constantly asking myself whether I'm writing, responding to a discussion on the SeattleIntegral list, talking to a customer or co-worker, and in every conversation I have. How'm I doing? I am constantly challenged and constantly falling short. What's the single most important element to trying to succeed? Compassion with accountability. Even when your buttons are pushed. Even when you want to dig back back.

Conscious Loving also has a discussion forum which can be found here. Trying to be conscious and accountable in our relationships is a practice we could all use and beneift from. I know very few arenas in life that have as much impact on us as relationship, from the moment we gasp for our first breath, and until the moment when we take our last. We simply must include relationship in an integral practice.

I'm back, with a new mission!

Blogger has apparently been "google-ized," and I have been unable to post for a while during that transistion, but it appears to be up and running, and I will be posting again, if not every day, at least 2-3 times a week.

The direction of Integral in Seattle will change slightly, and won't be noticeable to most of you, dear readers. In addition to writing about what it means to try to live my life in an integral fashion, I'm also going to write about what it means to start, manage, and lead an integral salon through the birth process and, now, the "formative years," as SeattleIntegral struggles to eventually stand completely on it's own.

We finally have our very own website, www.seattleintegral.com, which I paid for, designed, and launched. I am not a webmaster, nor am I a professional web designer, but I'm a pretty damn good graphic designer. Now I'm catching some flack because a couple of people don't like it, so I'm encouraging conversation about on the discussion list, instead of it just being between another person and myself. Remembered lesson: You can't please everyone.

The massive amount of time to design and launch the site was possible because of the Core Group, a leadership circle taking on the responsibility of running the group, leaving me time to do other things. The Core Group was also invaluable with feedback and support.

It will be these kinds of salon issues, and how to approach them in a second tier manner, that I'll address over the next few months.

More on Insight Dialogue

It's been too long since I've posted, but the SeattleIntegral list, which I moderate and administer, just exploded this month! We've had over twice the postings from any previous month, and the quality of the various discussions has been exceptionally high. There are a lot of reasons for this, not the least of which, we're 135 strong and growing, and perhaps I'll touch on that in a future blog.

The SeattleIntegral ITP/ILP Insight Dialogue event with Terri O'Fallon, was this last Saturday. We had a full house, and for the first time we sold out an event prior to the event! All of the proceeds from the event were donated to Pacific Integral's "Generating transformative Change" International Travel Fund.

From Terri: "I am humbled by the possibility of having you folks sponsor our international people. Right now we have a young woman from Palestine who is in our program, and she is struggling with no electricity no wages, and is having a terrible time over there. She is only 23 years old and yet has completed her legal degree and has already passed the bar, and is working on the equality and child laws over there in Palestine. Her mom passed away and she is raising her younger siblings. She waited for an entire year to save enough money to pay for her first ticket here to be in the GTC program - an amazing young woman. We aren’t sure she can even make it even if she has the money right now, but we will do what we can to bring her back over here, and you would be one of her sponsors with these donations. I am truly grateful for any offerings you would lend.”

I wasn't able to attend, as I was in Boise for a long overdue visit to my youngest daughter and two of my three grandkids. However, I've been through an extended ID session with Terri before, and that's why I was so excited to bring this to the group.

The feedback from the event has been excellent. The one complaint seems to be that there wasn't enough time to really get into the process....and that's part of the point. I want to encourage those who attended to take the excellent handouts Terri provided, get more familiar with the process, and take it out to the various sub groups we work with. As an example of that, our ITP/ILP group used the process last night at our regular meeting, instead of the usual "check in" we've used for the last year and a half. I lead a brief Insight Dialogue induction after our regular meditation. The feeling of an altered state with the group was palpable. We then went on to have one of the most open and heartfelt discussions we've had to date.

It's easy to see that ID can open up the participants to deeper conversations. The check in we've been doing sometimes feels forced, as everyone is "expected" to check in. With ID, interaction comes from a deeper space, and the conversation is much more intimate and real.

This process can be used in a multitude of ways. Jay Allen talks about some of them on his excellent blog, and I'd like to support Terri's proposal that the process can be used with online discussion groups, as well.

Again, from Terri: "It is an engaged practice of deeply mindful interchange involving a natural resting in intrinsic awareness in which all phenomena arise and fall within oneself and within the community.

"The inclination towards mindfulness while speaking and writing that is fostered in ID supports the practice of awareness during the complex tasks and social interchanges of day to day living and allows individuals practicing ID without other dialogic meditators to develop their own intrinsic awareness and to foster it in the people around them by example.”

This is exactly the kind of paradigm-producing practice that can take the Integral Life Practice Starter Kit and turn it into a group process, and exactly the outcome we wanted, and anticipated.

Well done, everyone, and special thanks to Elle for all her hard work!

What we write, is how we are.....

I'm really late in posting this, but I've been a little busy! If you're one of the few integrally informed people who haven't read Ken's blog, heard or read the uproar and the responses in the blogosphere, and then his explanation, you should do it now. Otherwise you won't understand what the hell I'm talkin' about.

I was not one of the 200, or so, people who were asked what they thought about the blog before it was published, and I don't have a problem with that. However, had I been asked, I would have fallen in the 30% that thought it was over the top.

I was not offended by the original post. I was, however, disappointed by the explanation, as it seemed to be a little too clever, too cute, and slightly manipulative. But hey! That's just an opinion, and I don't take that too seriously, either!

It's not the criticism of the critics. Ken's responses to those critics is perfectly valid. I've been to a lot of the "anti-Wilber" sites, and while there is occasionally a good point worth pursuing, most of the criticism is wrapped up in narcissism of the worst kind.

However, it's the "how" the message that was delivered is bothersome to me. Oh, I know, the point is "how" it was delivered is supposed to be irrelevant, and I'm to examine why it might bother me, providing an opportunity for self-reflection and growth. So what I'm seeing for myself is that I am uncomfortable about the "how," and here's a couple of reasons why:

• It's not the way I would have handled it. Anyone who has been around integral very long knows that even people at the same stages can have differing perspectives. This is partly cultural, and I'm not particularly fond of the "suck my dick" language, but I recognize my aversion for what it is, and it's clearly not shadow. The point is, you can disagree with the delivery without having shadow elements. If someone says the disagreement requires introspection and shadow work, they are being shallow, and, well......partial. Maybe it does...maybe it doesn't! It is up to the individual to take responsibility for this, but to say disagreement constitutes a need for shadow work?
  
• It will be misinterpreted by the very people it's aimed at as permission to act in kind, and the level of discourse will not benefit. The same people who used "skillful means" as a weapon to silence their critics may now think they have tacit permission to go off on others, claiming a higher purpose.
  
• Some are saying the the blog, and now the response, is aimed at particular audiences. It has also created what appears to be a certain smugness from some who seem to be saying, "I get it, I'm second-tier, and here's your opportunity to be as advanced as I am." It seems prudent to point out that narcissistic tendencies aren't just limited to green (transcended and included), and it might be worthwhile for some to closely look at if, and why, they might have this smugness.

It's been said that the pathologies of second-tier have yet to manifest, but when they they do, they will carry more compexity, and create even bigger problems than we have today, and that, eventually, the path to solving those problems will push us into even greater levels of complex thinking.

I appreciate what Ken was trying to do, here, hell, he's profoundly changed my life, but my personal opinion is that it was not the best way to approach this. My closing thought is to urge caution and introspection: If this was a clever test, what makes you think it's over? What makes you think that what we're doing right now, in this moment, and in the moments to come, how we've responded, how we will respond, isn't part of a larger test?

"Things are not as they seem. Nor are they otherwise." -- from the Lankavatara Sutra

"Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer." -- Mark Twain

(thanks for the quotes, Jake!)

Integral Salons

Alex Rollin, from Washington DC, and I had a conversation about integral salons, and the newly forming, still storming, integral salon network we've co-created with Shannon Sullivan (now in Chicago). isalonsnet. It's thirty minutes, so proceed at your own risk.

Click on the audioblog bar at the top right.

An Inconvenient Truth: An Era of Consequences

I'n not going to write a lot about this movie, except to say, you must see it, and you must take everyone you know.

"Humanity is sitting on a ticking time bomb. If the vast majority of the world's scientists are right, we have just ten years to avert a major catastrophe that could send our entire planet into a tail-spin of epic destruction involving extreme weather, floods, droughts, epidemics and killer heat waves beyond anything we have ever experienced."

An Inconvenient Truth

Time to Take Out the Trash: Peaceful Warrior, the Movie

Perhaps the best known integral blogger, Coolmel (Also known as ~C4Chaos, one of the bloggers on Ken Wilbers' website, and a member of Seattleintegral) has posted this review of the movie Peaceful Warrior, based on Dan Millman's book, Way of the Peaceful Warrior.

Several SI moviegoers gathered last night at a special screening, followed by what was billed as first-time 6-city video conference of movie audiences in Phoenix, San Diego, LA, SF, Portland, and Seattle, with Dan Millman, the actors, the producers, and various "celebs."

~C4 is right on with his review. This is a good movie!!! It is very well done, well acted, quality production, all in all, I give it a 5 on some sort or other of scale. Yes, it's not a new message, but it's a timeless message.

Besides just going to see it because it's a damn good movie, there's one other area in which I think the movie can be valuable: You know how your co-workers, some of your friends, maybe even members of your family seem to just kind of tune out when you tell them about your practices, or integral, or make any reference to consciousness or awareness?

Take those friends, family members, and loved ones to this movie, and at the end, stand up and yell at the top of your voice, "That's what I'm talkin' 'bout!"

No, seriously, just say that's what you feel, model it for them, love them, and just be with them. If you can't do that, what's all this awareness and conscious stuff for, anyway?

The "What is Integral" Elevator Speech

Anyone who has done any sort of management or sales training knows about the "elevator speech." What do you say to someone, in an elevator, when they ask what you do, and you only have "x" amount of seconds before they get off on their floor?

Those of us who are "integrally informed" have the same problem. Have you met anyone who could tell what integral is, in 30 seconds or less? Ha! you say...that's impossible!...and you'd be right. But you can give a brief overview without stumbling all over yourself.

When SeattleIntegral was just new, several of us took on that task, and wrote our own elevator speeches. What I am presenting here is the evolution of my elevator speech.

My first draft effort said:
"Integral, meaning composed of parts that make a whole complete, refers to an emerging philosophy that provides a comprehensive picture of our universe, and a way of thinking that leads to a better world."

"It's a multi-dimensional philosophy as well as tool with broad implications for the arts, business, science, religion, and philosophy. It unifies east, west, past and present, focusing on spirituality and human development, and is a vision for problem solving and enlightened living."

Phew! In an effort to simplify my "commercial." then i wuz thinkin'.....
"Integral is an emerging multi-dimensional philosophy with a heart-centered worldview and strategies that create the potential for trust, understanding, and transformation of ourselves, our communities, and our world."

After listening to other SeatleIntegral members' responses, particularly my dear friend Tom Mull's contribution, I came back to this, which was basically where I was before this exercise:
"Integral is an emerging all-inclusive philosophy that combines science, religion, western and eastern philosophies, and the great wisdom traditions into models for personal, community, and global growth, and greater enlightenment."

The problem with some of these is that when you start talking about enlightenment to blue and orange vMemes, you lose them.

So here's my most recent version:
"In a nutshell, 'integral' is a comprehensive and inclusive philosophy, and on a deeper level, an emerging consciousness; a grand sysnthesis uniting eastern and western philosophy, religion, science, politics, business, art, morals, values, meaning, etc., that can apply to any contemporary issue. It's a new way of looking at the world, it's problems, and their possible solutions....here...let me give you my card...." :)

Any of these, and your own, should be short enough to prevent the familiar "glazing over the eyes" that we've all experienced when explaining "integral" to our families and friends. You're welcome to borrow anything I've written here, but if you haven't done this exercise, you should, I believe it's a critical step in solidly formalizing your cognitive awareness of what integral means....even if you never wind up in an elevator.

More on Insight Dialogue

One of my favorite people in this world, or any other, is Terri O'Fallon. Terri is a long-time member of seattleintegral, one of the principals in Pacific Integral, and a member of the Integral Institute's Integral Education Committee. My understanding is she is developing a lot of the online classes I-I will be offering so people (like me!) can get AQAL Kosher I-I certified. Terri has a long history of developing online learning communities, having also been a mentor for masters' students at the California Institute of Integral Studies (CIIS).

Terri is one of my favorite people for a lot of reasons. Besides all of the above, Terri walks into a room in full presence , and unassuming humility, unlike anyone else I have ever seen. In my non-expert opinion, she radiates and embodies Spiral Dynamics' Turquoise level of development.

All of this aside, Terri introduced our first-year "Generating Transformational Change in Human Systems" cohort to Insight Dialogue, for which I will be forever grateful. It was co-developed by Terri and Greg Kramer in 1994

Here's how Insight Dialogue listening and speakingworks in a nutshell (thanks to Cain at Zaadz, for this outline):

• Commit to the process---bring your awareness to the present moment
  
• Pause–call forth to slow down, to drop ignorance, to see more deeply, and brighten the mind.
• Relax—call forth in the face of stress, of challenging truths, and to bring ease to the body-mind.
• Open—call to move out of isolated practice, loops, and selfish patterns, to be out of contraction.
• Trust Emergence—call forth for energy, to end doubt, and to ride the moment.
• Listen Deeply—call into inquiry, receptivity, and to extend the heart.-
• Speak the Truth—call forth to end stasis, to enhance generosity and courage, to bring meditative interaction.

Insight Dialogue is a meditation practice that includes listening and speaking, and in an on-line format, reading and writing. It expands Insight Meditation and Bohmian dialogue into interaction, turning conversation into a transformative, creative vehicle where something brand new and unanticipated might emerge into a deeper awareness. The process also creates an amazing field of shared consciousness between particpants.

This is, by far, the deepest, most powerful, mediative experience I've ever had, and to share it with others is even more amazing.

3 Months Down the Road with ILP: Group Practices

After more than a year of ITP (Integral Transformative Practice), the SeattleIntegral ITP group has been alternating between Murphy and Leonard's ITP and Integral Institute's Integral Life Practice (ILP) 3-Body Workout.

Perhaps not exactly what has been described by Wilber as "transcend and include,", where earlier developmental levels have been differentiated from, transcended, and included in our repertoire of practices, but pretty damn close!

We've loved the ITP we've been doing, and a couple of members still prefer it, but everyone in the group pretty much agrees, there's a deeper spiritual presence in the ILP 3-Body Workout than in ITP. It's certainly not that spirit is lacking, or not present (spirit is ever-present), in the ITP, but with the gross, subtle, and causal body movements, and awareness created by the moderators and theme on the ILP DVD, spirit is right up there in your face. I like that my awareness of spirit is brought to full presence in the ILP DVD. It reminds me to be more present when switching off to ITP on alternating meetings.

Let me also say that ILP owes it's very existence to ITP, and we should never lose sight of that.

One small critique of the 3-Body Workout DVD with an eye to the future: the Home Study Kit is just that - a home study kit. There is no group practice as such. Oh, a group can do the Kata (form), but that would only involve the lower right quadrant. The 3-Body Workout is hyper-agentic, or masculine in its approach, and most of us guys would be probably go right along with that, no problem. But for women, or men who recognize the importance of balancing the masculine and feminine, it's just not there. The group process must pay attention to all four quadrants.

And while I-I is working on creating a group process, SeattleIntegral is already doing it. We are developing the community aspects of the 3-Body Workout, and the first element is community dialogical processes that open up our hearts, communication, and a sense of intimacy for our members.

High on my list to bring to the group is Insight Dialogue, co-created by Terri O'Fallon, one of SI's beloved teachers, and member of I-I's Integral Education Committee. I'll write more about Insight Dialogue and how it brings the feminine to ILP in a future blog.

Integral Relationship: One on One

There have been more than a few postings on Integral Relationship.....like Joe Perez' posting on polyamory. Integral Options Cafe actually shares the pain and effort that goes into growing an Integral relationship (I heartily applaud your extraordinary bravery, William and Kira), Meetups have been organized around the subject, and relationship in any form, evidenced by the proliferation of internet dating services and sites, weighs heavily on our individual and collective minds....and trust me...there's a dating service for every imaginable seeker!

Some of the newer and more interesting dating sites, from my perspective, that is, are David Deida's Spiritually Sexy, Conscious Singles, and Enlightened Match, just to name a few.

Like most people, I have gobs of friends in relationships of all kinds, and, DAMN, if I'm not just a little envious!

I've been married once, for seventeen years, and I was really good at it. I'm someone who should be deeply involved in a relationship, and yet, here I am, almost 61, and so solidly single I can't believe it. My whole foray into integral began with my marriage falling apart in the late 90's, and then, several years later, a painful, and painfully short and unsatisying relationship that sent me into psychotherapy. It was through that therapy that I began meditating, and well, one thing led to another. I find it amazing how many people come to radical change in their lives through painful means. I have come to call these painful paths "AFGO's", or, "another fucking growth opportunity"....please......no more AFGO's!

So what is with me and relationships? I want one, but don't have one. I suspect there's more than a little shadow work to be done, here. I have filled out profiles on five different dating sites, and not one is active. Wha's up wid 'dat? I keep telling myself I'll come across her profile, join the site, and tell her I only joined to meet her (been there, done that). Okay, when would I have time?....excuse. I'm okay alone...I am, but know it would be fuller not to be. A woman handed me her card and phone number in the grocery store this weekend....nice, but not my type.....what's my type? There's also a bit of not wanting to be disappointed, again.

Maybe it all comes down to having loved someone intensely, fully, passionately....seeing and recognizing the divine person within them that they wouldn't allow to come out.....watching helplessly as their fear drove them away.

Once you've experienced that, how do you accept anything else? I think by trying to recognize the divine in each and every person that you meet. And then you're never alone....and practice....lots of practice....I want to make this part of my practice, but it's not like you can start doing relationship, as if it were weights or meditation!

Somehow, I doubt this will be my last word on this subject.

Satori at the strangest time

I was on my way to the first SeattleIntegral Integral Spirituality meeting last Sunday, sitting at a stoplight in Fremont, when I had a sudden overwhelming recognition of the connectedness of everything. It's a good thing my windows are tinted, because I started crying at the realization (once again) of ever-present awareness.

Actually, I didn't give a hoot if anyone was watching, or not. Such is the ground of being.

Satori is a key concept in Zen Buddhism. It is the goal of Zen Buddhism, and roughly translates into individual Enlightenment, or a flash of sudden awareness. I have no doubt that mine was a "state," or peak, awareness: that is, a temporary state. It's the fourth Satori I've had, the first at 14, but I had absolutely no idea what the hell that was! I had already pretty much disassociated from the mythical relgion of my youth, and had not yet discovered the Objectivist philosophy of Ayn Rand. Unknown to me, I was in Satori limbo.

What I now know is that each of these peak experiences brings me closer to the next level of consciousness, and that while I patiently wait for that state awareness to become vertical (transcendent) stage awareness, I'll continue to work on my horizontal (translative) development, as well. Ah, span vs. depth.....another blog.

An Integral Governance System?

About three weeks ago, in a conversation with Ken Wilber, I was introduced to a unique governing system called "Sociocracy." During that conversation, Ken referred to it as "Sociocracy" and "Holacracy."

In a nutshell, Sociocracy is all about agile organizations, natural holarchies, and integrating the world, and is a form of government based on synergic consent, wherein everyone wins.

Brian Robertson, founder and CEO of Ternary Software, Inc., was pioneering Agile software development processes long before the term "agile" was coined, and presented at SD Best Practices 2005. Ternary's unique organizational design, governance structure, and business practices have forged new ground and tested new possibilities in the fields of human organization and culture.

There are four primary practices of Sociocracy:

• Decision making by consent: Consent is a method of decision-making whereby the arguments presented in discussing a decision are of paramount importance, and the the result of the discussion is that no one present has a reasoned and paramount objection to the decision being made.
• Circle Organization: The organization is built of a hierarchy of semi-autonomous circles. Each circle has its own aim, given by the higher-level circle, and has the authority and responsibility to execute, measure, and control its own processes to move towards its aim.
• Double-Linking: A lower circle is always linked to the circle above it via at least two people who belong to and take part in the decision making of both the higher circle and the lower circle. One of these links is the person with overall accountability for the lower-level circle’s results, and the other is a representative elected from within the lower-level circle.
• Elections by Consent: People are elected to key roles exclusively by consent after open discussion (this is not a democratic majority-vote election!). Most notably, the election process applies to the representative elected from a lower-level circle to a higher-level circle.

Sociocracy needs to be understood as a whole, not as a collection of independent practices – for example, consent-based decision making (the first practice) doesn’t work well unless it is done in the context of a circle of individuals with regular contact working together towards a common aim (the second practice).

We used a trial of this process at a recent SeattlIntegral Core Group meeting, and everyone was favorably impressed with how it works. Of course, we have much to learn about this process, but, upon first glance, it trully appears to be an integral approach to governance.

Creativity, Spirituality, and the Integral U-Process

I presented my first 2-hour workshop this past weekend, and judging from the feedback I've received, it went well. I'm delighted, because I busted my butt putting it together after feeling I'd been roped into doing something I didn't have enough time for!

I was first introduced to the "U-Process" last year at Pacific Integral's 2-year program on Generating Transformative Change in Human Systems. The "U-Process" is thoroughly described and documented in the book Presence: Human Purpose and the Field of the Future. Ken Wilber and Otto Scharmer (one of four authors of Presence) expanded on the "U-Process," showing how the process can effectively plunge someone at intermediate or upper level stages into the gross, subtle, and causal states of consciousness, and help speed along the transformation to higher stages.

The process consists of gross/waking cognition fixed on anything that can be described "it" language ("Seeing" from the outside, using cognition that is distancing), "Sensing from the whole," in the subtle realm, reflecting to allow an "inner knowing" to emerge, and "Presencing," accessing your Self, or Source, which is a simple version of the causal Self. You have to contact this vast open Self expanse to have intentionality, the only time we truly have free will.

Again, this process allows people to fluidly access these states, at whatever stage they’re at. When we come out of these states we crystallize and institutionalize them. This is basically taking these subtler causal forms and materializing them in the near future. So, you’re essentially calling forth the future and embodying it by working with these creative states. The U Process means you can teach somebody who, in terms of Spiral Dynamics, is Blue or Orange or Green to be the most effective change agents that they can be at their stage.

If you haven't read Presence, I highly recommend it.

Or, you could book me for your next event!