Integral Warriors: Embodying the New Masculine

Why would I start an Integral Men's Group when there are plenty of men's groups already around (Sex, Passion, and Enlightenment - The Mankind Project)? Because they don't take specifically take a 4-quadrant/AQAL approach. We'll approach this group apllying Ken Wilber and David Deida's model. Starting in September, I hope to bring 6-10 men together to help each other discover what it means to embody the New Masculine from a second tier perspective. I also believe that this is some of the most important work that can be done today as we watch Patriarchy die kicking and screaming (see my previous three blogs).

What is a Men's group?

A men’s group is a group of men who meet regularly and are committed to the goals of learning to serve each other to deeper spiritual growth, keeping each other true to their deepest life’s purpose, and practicing giving their unique gifts to each other and the world. The teachings for this group will be based on the David Deida book, The Way of the Superior Man.

What will happen at Meetings?

Each meeting will follow a structured agenda of exercises with time included for giving each other feedback and encouragement in their practices of deep living based on the book The Way of the Superior Man and other teachings by David Deida. This group will determine our own logistics of meeting frequency and time.

Why should I join a Men's group?

Many men know how hard it is to follow through with deep, spiritual teachings in their everyday lives without any kind of support. Many have experienced the so called "rubber band effect" after attending a profound workshop or intensive. "Rubber-banding" is when you get stretched open beyond your normal boundaries in a challenging, or ecstatic situation, but then "snap back" to your more habitual patterns of behavior when you return to your everyday life. A men’s group provides a conscious community to support men’s continued growth of deep understanding and practice.

What will it cost, and what kind of commitment will be required?

Each member of the Men's group will be asked for a small donation at the meetings to help cover the cost and time of putting the meetings together. The time commitment will depend on how often the group will want to meet, but I recommend twice a month, and a commitment to attend twelve meetings except in the case of an emergency for Part I, and the first 6 chapters and 12 lessons will take place over those 12 meetings. Part II will complete coverage of the "A Man's Way" of the Superior Man.

Five reasons for a man to join a Men's Group:
Taken from "Way of the Superior Man", by David Deida

1) BEING IN THE COMPANY OF OTHER MEN
"A man discovers and fine tunes his purpose in solitude, in challenging situations, and in the company of other men who won’t settle for his bullshit. A mans capacity to receive another mans direct criticism is a measure of his capacity to receive masculine energy." Chap. 10

2) HAVING MEN HOLD YOU ACCOUNTABLE FOR LIVING YOUR DEEPEST PURPOSE
"Your mission is your priority, unless you know your mission and have aligned your life to it, your core will feel empty. Your presence in the world will be weakened, as will your presence with your intimate partner." Chap 30

3) MEN WHO ARE DEDICATED WITH YOU
"Be in the company of other men who are dedicated their lives to integrity, truth, and the heart. Men who are dedicated to live with an open heart and give their deepest gifts of love, mission and presence. The way a man penetrates the world should be the same way he penetrates his woman: not merely for personal gain or pleasure, but to magnify love, openness, and depth." Chap 9

4) SUPPORT YOUR EDGE WITH OTHER MEN
"Choose men friends who themselves are living at their edge, facing their fears and living just beyond them. Men of this kind can love you without protecting you from necessary confrontation with reality that your life involves." Chap 10

5) CUT THROUGH YOUR BS
"At least once a week, get together with your men friends to serve one another. Cut through the bullshit and talk with each other straight. Welcome such criticisms from your friends. Suggest challenges for each other to take on, in order to bring each other through the fears which limit your surrender in gifting." Chap 50

Sex. Passion, and Enlightenment: The Infomercial

There were some noticeably nervous men walking in the door at the beginning of the the free all day Warrior Sage workshop yesterday: many they had been dragged, threatened, cajoled, or sweet-talked into attending something they might not ordinarily and willingly attended without the threat or no sex for a year or impending alimony and child support payments.

And although I could almost hear them thinking, "WTF am I doing here?", almost all of them were singing a different tune at the end of the day.

But before I get into what I really liked about this workshop. let me touch on what I didn't. As I expressed in my previous entry, I was turned off by what I felt was a pretty tasteless web presentation that could have been geared to hawking Viagra tablets. The presentation was similar in that I couldn't get away from the sense that I was sitting in infomercial hell (If you act now, that price is only....).

The second thing was that Satyen Raja, the man I went to see, was no where to be seen. In fairness, the infomercials never said he would be, but they sure implied it! The workshop was facilitated by Gary and Deborah, a charming couple with lots of presence and energy, but I felt let down by not seeing Raja.

Now to the good stuff. The best part of the day was when some actual work began. The men and women were separated and off to do their own work. When the men were in their "cave" (actually a medium sized hotel meeting room with no chairs), Gary's tone noticeably shifted to a hyper-masculine mode. After talking a bit, Gary had us do a couple of exercises that helped the men both get in touch with their softer sides toward other men, and to define and challenge each other's purpose, with other's giving feedback. Pretty powerful stuff, designed to allow us to take ourselves off the relativistic cross the we've allowed ourselves to bear, through culture and our own confusion about what it means to be a 3rd stage man.

The women had been doing their own work, and when we came back together in a set up procession, the polarity between the men and women was incredibly high. The men were stronger, more capable of meeting these women on their own terms. empty, ready to be filled, and the women, more juicy and full than when we had left, and both, literally, melted into each others masculine and feminine with an almost indescribable richness. This is really good stuff!

My friend Brian, who also attended and is a member of SeattleIntegral's Core Group, and I talked later about how important we thought a men's group would be for SeattleIntegral. Warrior Sage has a local men's group, but you have to go through their actual 3-day workshop before you can join it, and we want to offer this work to the men of SI as soon as possible. 3rd stage/second tier men need to have other men meeting them, challenging them in a loving manner, and holding each other accountable.

An example of how you can lovingly hold your male friend accountable: "Dude, I love you you, but you need to get your ass off the couch and into the gym...."

You could never say that to your woman, but you could say, "God, it really turns me on when you come back from the gym and you're just glowing...."

So to all my men friends, in and out of SeattleIntegral, in spite of a pretty cheesy marketing program (which apparently works because there were over a hundred people there): "Dudes....get your ass to a Warrior Sage workshop and learn how to fully meet your woman or to call that woman into your life and stop screwing around in the dark around your relationships."

Besides.......there are some really juicy women there!

And to my female friends, if you're single, these guys that attend are doing the work...and if you're already in relationship, this will greatly improve that relationship.

Two thumbs up to Warrior Sage for doing great and really important work.