Integral Warriors: Meeting 7, Never Change Your Mind Just To Please Your Woman

....Or anyone else, for that matter. Whether your partner, your parents, your kids, your boss...

"If a woman suggests something that changes a man's perspective, then he should make a decision based on that new perspective, but he should never betray his
own deepest knowledge and intuition in order to please his woman or "go along' with her. Both she and he will be weakened by such an action. They will grow to resent each other, and the crust of accumulated inauthenticity will burden their love, as well as their capacity for free action."

So opens Chapter 6 from David Deida's The Way of the Superior Man. At this weeks' meeting, we examined what it means to trust our own wisdom, and where we sometimes weaken and fail to stand up to our deepest truth to please others.

This often happens between a man and woman, but can also apply to other areas of your life. How do your actions and your trust, or lack of trust, of your own wisdom affect those around you? Are you someone who can be trusted? Do you make your decisions from your deepest realization or to please others?

Deida says an attitude of self-trust engenders others' trust in you. How's your self-trust doing, and how are you doing with your self trust? And finally, how do we build our self trust?

I've given up my power in the past, reclaimed it (and wound up in divorce, which was the right thing). The only time I was ever fired was because I refused to do something my boss wanted me to do that was clearly illegal.

My Beloved sometimes asks if I'm making a particular choice because of her, and as tempting as it is to say "yes" to please her, the truth is that my yes would ultimately undermine our relationship and her trust in my masculine. I'm delighted my choices benefit her, but make no mistake: that's not why I choose it.

I also deeply honor that my choices have been sparked by her through the light of intimacy, Realization, and Embodiment of what I call Big Love Integral, or conscious integral relationship.....but they are still very much my choices, and I accept complete responsibility for them, right or wrong.

Integral Wariors: Never Change Your Mind Just to Please Your Woman

"If a woman suggests something that changes a man's perspective, then he shoulfd make a decision based on that new perspective, but he should never betray his own deepe3st knowledge and intuition in order to please his woman or "go along' with her. Both she and he will be weakened by such an action. They will grow to resent each other, and the crust of accumulated inauthenticity will burden their love, as well as their capacity for free action."

In our check-ins at Tuesday nights' Seattle Integral Warriors Men's Group, we'll be examining how we either trust our own wisdom, or , perhaps, where we sometimes weaken. This often happens between a man and woman, but can also apply to other areas of your life. How do your actions and your trust, or lack of trust, of your own wisdom affect those around you? Are you someone who can be trusted? Do you make your decisions from your deepest realization or to please others?

David Deida says an attitude of self-trust engenders others' trust in you. How's your self-trust doing, and how are you doing with your self trust?

And finally, how do we build our self trust?

I've been learning to go deeper around my own self trust. This is especially important around relationship, and even more critical if you're in relationship with a strong woman, because if you can't trust yourself, she'll eat you alive and never blink twice. She might be disappointed that you weren't the one, but she'll get over that. She may mourn not having met the one, but she won't mourn you.

And if you can't step up, what will you mourn? Your own inability to trust yourself? Not likely. If you can't step up, you're more likely to blame her (you can't step up, remember?) Your inauthenticity is the reason you can't act with clarity, and your being is out of step with with your core.

You must act from that core, and make your own decisions based on your deepest intuitive wisdom and knowledge....and if you're wrong, it was still your best shot, and whatever happens, right or wrong, you'll be developing a greater capacity for your future actions.

PS: I'll let you guess what the "W" stands for.....

Integral Warriors: Embodying the New Masculine, a men's group, Part two

This is a very different blog than I expected to write today. Judging by the early lack of enthusiasm around the concept of a SeattleIntegral men's group, I expected three, maybe four, men to show up at the first meeting last night. We had nine men show up and they seem to be exactly the right men.

Nine men! Nine brave men who all have powerful personal stories. Some came with a purpose, or mission, and some are not sure why they came, but feel called. I won't go into any personal stories, other than my own, if I feel it's relevant to a teaching or of possible value to others, and I won't mention the names of those who've shown up.

Some of the issues that came up are about purpose, addictions, relationship, money, forgiveness, self love, accountability, fear, trust, and what's holding us back?

For me, I know I need to be in the company of men. I need to hear the brutal truth about who I am and what I do, or don't do, from a masculine perspective. Like many men, I bathe and luxuriate in feminine energy, especially with my beloved (I've never met a woman who tells the truth so fearlessly and so compassionately as she). However, I also recognize that I've not paid enough attention to the polarity of the masculine in the company of men, and that's perspective I need to embrace. However good I might be at holding the Divine Masculine on my own, there's always a way to go deeper.

While aware of Jung's four archetypes used in other men's groups - the king, the magician, the warrior, the lover - and paying attention to the integration of all, the focus of those group will be David Deida's work, particularly around his book "The Way of the Superior Man."

I am also delighted at the chance to step deeper into my role as a spiritual teacher, and sharing the wisdom I've gained with other men, and learning from them as well. This is also not a free group. There is a small fee for each of the meetings. That's part of my commitment to be paid for the work I do, as well as the men's commitment to the value received for the time and effort I put in to facilitate and lead the group: part of my personal work around conscious abundance, as well.