Day 7: The Sedona Daka/Dakini Conference

We missed the first presenter this morning because Anyaa had a therapy session with a client. I could have gone alone, but welcomed the chance to just hang out around the temple,talking with people.

We arrived at Future Studios about 10:30am, where the morning sessions were taking place, in time to hear David Cates, another keynote speaker.

David Cates is now an elder in the sexual healing revolution. Thirty years ago he worked his way through college as one of the first male strippers in New York (five years before Chippendales hit the scene!). In the San Francisco underground, he was turned on to the sacred dimensions of sex, and shifted his private counseling practice to full-time daka work. He has shared his healing gifts with thousands of clients in the US, Europe and Australia, keeping his work fresh by constantly incorporating new bodymind modalities and leading-edge science into his profoundly intuitive understanding of the ancient temple arts. All the tricks boil down to this: Pay Close Attention, Be Fully Present, and Let Go!

A quote from David:

“The universe is fucking ALIVE! And ego is NOT the vehicle that can carry any of us to ecstasy. Aligning our multidimensional bodies with the present moment allows full penetration, bliss and conscious co-creation. At the oscillation rate of atoms – where Source pops through the quantum field into form – we are birthing our bodies 40 million times each second. Get in harmony with THAT!“We can’t muscle through or control it; we can only surrender…“Luckily, white tantra shows us how to relax into the tremulous vibration at the heart of matter. We don’t DO the Sacred Union; we ARE the Sacred Union. Realizing this at our core awakens us to the infinite, eternal,
ongoing orgasm of life. Identity bursts into flames. Everything else falls away."

By itself, really good stuff. However, during his presentation, David also seemed to be saying stop all the practices, stop working on yourselves and just let go into surrender.

At later stages of development, this can happen. But at survival, tribal, power, mythological, achievement, and egalitarian stages of consciousness this could be a disaster. Again, the problem is that letting go gets interpreted at the level of consciousness of the particular individual.

Some one at amber/mythological (Wilber's model) is going to have a completely different experience than someone at Spiral Dynamics' (Don Beck's model) orange/achiever levels.

The better known names in developmental psychology, like Susanne Cook-Greuter, Bill Torbet, and Bob Kegan, know that most adults are not actually developmentally ready for most of the intervention work that is commonly offered in the helping professions....nor are they capable of having anything but peak (state) experiences of higher levels of consciousness.

So the question becomes, is telling people drop what they're doing and just let go good advice? It depends on an individual's level of development. David Cates can do it, and that's his truth, but he's been doing the prep work that he seems to be asking others to stop for thirty years.

In addition, what David is describing is the masculine path of emptiness, or eros. There's also the feminine path of embracing the world, coomunion or agape. And beyond that is the path of both/and: doing the work and releasing it to the universe. No attachment.

Later that day

We took the afternoon off to get out on the land of Sedona. We visited a vortex and stood for five minutes for all of the women of the world. What an incredibly beautiful place!

At 5:30 we attended the Tantric Circus: a group of about 6-7 performers who do live and multimedia performance art based on the tantric perspective. This was erotic, delicious, funny and beautiful. The Tantric Circus performs all over the west coast and if you get a chance, I highly recommend it.

More tomorrow.

Day 6: The Sedona Daka/Dakini Conference

I'm finding myself somewhat amazed that the majority of teachings here at the conference are so basic and elementary. So much so, that I'm left with the conclusion that the majority of these attendees, sex workers, tantra teachers, healers, etc., simply have not done their own work.

As Anyaa, my Beloved, so eloquently pointed out in her talk, Healing the Wounded Feminine, and referring to Wilber's state/stages model, people can get a taste of higher stages of consciousness through ecstatic, or altered, state experiences, and "spiritually bypass" (as she calls it) their present stage. They think they've moved to a higher level of consciousness, when all they are really doing is interpreting that glimpse of the next stage from their own level of consciousness.

What's worse is, if they haven't completed the personal work that needs to be done translatively, that is, horizontal development, the widest and healthiest perspective possible at a particular stage, they tend to disassociate from what they haven't completed, leaving unhealthy aspects of that stage in their psyches that will come back and kick their ass later. It's unavoidable. It becomes shadow.

It's not until one attains the widest and healthiest perspective at their present stage (translation), that they're ready to move into the next stage. This is transformation, or vertical development, where one transcends and includes the previous stage, being able to call on that stage's particular qualities as they are needed. If those qualities aren't healthy, pathologies will develop and a healer can wind up doing more harm than good.

Beside....it can make for really boring presentations.

Although Anyaa's presentation was about Healing the Wounded Feminine, both men and women have been coming up to her, some crying, some ecstatically happy to have these realizations pointed out to them. Many of them have said that they recognized themselves in her presentation and have committed to seeking out the personal work they need, many of the women with her. Some have called her presentation profound and deep. I agree.

I am so honored to love and to be loved by this woman.

For more on transformation and translation go here: The Nature of Translation: Stop and LiveIt's the third video down.

Day 5: Trapped by Naked Yoga! and a whole lot more!

After a late night, Anyaa and I were awakened by the sound of people rustling about in the temple space outside our door. "Oh, no," I said, "Naked Yoga's in the temple!" Since the exit to rest of the house was through the door to the temple, we felt trapped. Fortunately, we also have an outside door that requires us to go around this huge house....Naked Yoga....That's cool. My non-participation is more about my newness to yoga than nudity.

Today kicked off the actual conference, and it was much more powerful, significant, and conscious than my experience yesterday. After a welcome by Baba Dez, the conference organizer, the three keynote speakers each did a 45-minute presentation.
The first was a couple from Chicago, Dr. Elsbeth Meuth and Freddy Zental Weaver, who teach Tantra to couples to enhance relationships. They did a piece on the Showtime "Sexual Healing" special they were featured in last year that was excellent. They do great work.

My partner, Anyaa McAndrew, was the second keynote speaker. She spoke eloquently about Stages of Healing the Wounded Feminine. Anyaa's a psychotherapist who has been working with women's issues for thirty years. Today's presentation was part one, about identifying the shadow aspects of the feminine, describing the wound and it's archetypes in detail. Both men and women kept coming up to her all day, telling her how much her talk meant to them. Tomorrow she'll do part two, about the healing processes needed.

The third keynote speakers were Dr. Sasha & Janet Lessin, a polyamorous couple who were to speak on Adoring Aphrodite, but their talk seemed more personal about their own journeys, heavily laden with stories of sexual healing. Dr. Sasha seemed rushed and wound up (sacred sacraments?) but the message was good.

There other good workshops that afternoon, including teachers from Charles Muir's Tantric Source School in Hawaii on Sacred Spot Massage. Charles Muir is pretty much the acknowledged leader of the American tantra movement.

Great stuff, today, including a wonderful concert ....no new age fluff. All important work.

More tomorrow.

Day 4 at the Daka/Dakini Conference: The Green Hits The Fan.....

At any large gathering of people where consciousness and awareness is in the forefront, including the integral movement, there's going to be a certain amount of "new-agism." This Sacred Sexual Healing conference is no exception.

Today I attended a 4 hour workshop with 20 other people on "conscious manifestation," one of dozens events taking place at this conference. At $100 a person for the session, I was expecting a lot. I already knew that I need to cut away and get rid of my self-limiting beliefs (I couldn't do that, I'm not good enough, etc.), and what I was looking for was how to do that: good tools that would help me learn how to better draw in the energy of abundance through my passion of service to men and couples, what's called "God-Money.

To begin, one of the two facilitators of the session was almost an hour late. There was a veiled apology (an excuse, really, with no apology) that he had been meditating and lost track of time. Ka-ching.

We then began an energy based meditation, that lasted an hour, with the intention of creating a vortex in the center of the room where we could deposit all of our self-limiting beliefs, having them disappear down the vortex. As the meditation proceeded, people began moaning and squirming, some coming together in the middle of the room, climbing all over each other (in the vortex....).

After a short break, the facilitators took us through an hour of very rudimentary teaching around self-limiting beliefs. Because I'd heard so much of this before, I felt like I was in a total beginner's class, including the facilitators, and found myself somewhat amazed that everyone seemed so taken with what I considered obvious and basic information. During a question and answer period, people asked questions that, in my opinion, weren't answered. What kind of conscious work had these people been doing?

In the last hour, we were guided back into another meditation, this one about releasing the things that holding us back, then taking our power, placing it in the middle of the room, with everyone then using every one's power to enhance their own. All the time I'm thinking, WTF? This time, at the end, almost the entire group was rolling around the floor with each other, grouping, humping, touching, and now I'm thinking about how many sex workers use what they're doing as a disguise and cover for their own sexual addictions.

As I continue to step into my own work with men and couples, I realize, once again, what a bunch of shallow new age stuff there is out there, how many people take advantage of others, and how gullible people can be. In my opinion, there was nothing in this workshop that was of value, and that it was appealing to people who think they're moving through or toward more self aware stages, when in actuality, they're having state experiences that they're interpreting as higher consciousness, spiritually by-passing the actual work that has to be done to get there.

In fairness, both facilitators have manifested a lot of abundance in their lives, but abundance is not the measurement of higher stages of consciousness. Sorry, Charlie...this was way too new age for me.

I'm going to try to find the primary facilitator and ask him if he's open to feedback, and then try to discover just what his intentions were. Maybe he was trying to reach them at their particular level of development, but that is not my sense. I want to make sure I'm not wrong about this.

Tomorrow: trapped by Naked Yoga

Day 3: A Profundity of Paradoxes

This morning I woke up feeling both profound sadness and joy: Sadness around my inability to heal others and joy at the richness of blessings in my life. Realizing that these feelings are a spiral, and that, like the ocean, they come and go, kissing the shore and leaving their mark. The sadness felt like a wave, the joy like the ocean, and tho' they appear to be separate, they are not.

The workshop today was about gender healing within each of us. Anyaa led the workshop, which consisted of us pairing off in gender pairs, each holding space for the other as we travelled through the process.

We each brought a crystal that was anointed with spikenard, the purest of essence oil, which is said to be used by Mary of Magdalene to wash and anoint Jesus' feet. Using the crystal to pass through the chakras, beginning at the crown chakra, each of us passed through both the masculine and feminine essence of our selves, as Anyaa led us through an amazing healing process that allowed us to let go of all of the gender wounding that has haunted us through the ages. The end result was as if a huge weight of guilt, sadness, and pain had been lifted from each of us. I highly recommend the process if you ever have an opportunity to experience it.

That night we each did a presentation on our gift to the world. I have discovered that I am a gifted stand-up comic, as I became, in costume, Sri Goji, who was berry, berry happy to be there. The group of 16 cracked up as I explained that I was so enlightened that instead of an aura, I had a Corona. I then channeled the enlightened spirituality of Gomer Pyle and Jimmy Stewart, who proclaimed that it was A Wonderful After Life.....After taking some questions about spirituality (some of the dumbest questions I ever heard). In the future, I'll wrap it up channeling Louie Armstrong singing "What a Wonderful World.

Like so many groups I've been in during the past few years, the connections with the others are fast and deep, and I've made some wonderful new friends.

We have Thursday off and the actual conference begins on Friday.

Day 2: Sedona Daka/Dakini Conference

We began today by spending some time in the Watsu pool at the beautiful Sedona Temple. This is a magnificent house with beautiful gardens, pools, and rock streams surrounded by towering red rocks.

After shopping for some groceries, and finishing settling in, the pre-conference group of 14 had a catered lunch together before kicking off the afternoon session, the beginning of the pre-conference. A lot of the other attendees are apprenticing with Baba Dez, Anyaa's co-facilitator in this process.

We began the afternoon session with some movement and ecstatic dance that was sensuous and altering. After that, Anyaa and Baba Dez led about an hour long "puja," a lovely heart-to-heart sacred intimacy building guided meditation process, with people moving from person to person, about claiming our inner masculine and feminine selves. We then had a sharing circle about who we are and why we're here.

Why I'm Here

Well, first I'm here because my partner, Anyaa, is one of the major presenters at the conference, and I'm here to support her in that process, and to enjoy her and our time together. But more, I'm here because I believe that healing between the masculine and the feminine is one of the most important issues facing humanity. Again, the wounds on both are so massive and they affect every aspect of our lives. For my part, healing the masculine, and moving men from David Deida's second stage to third stage, is the work I am choosing to do. A huge portion of that healing has to do with our sexuality.

After dinner, we gathered in separate circles, men and women. I can't speak to what happened in the women's circle, but we began by talking about our experiences of the afternoon. My sense was that this part was pretty lightweight work, but then I'm usually facilitating this work. The best part of the evening was the experiential process of healing our father wounds by being able to lie with each other and just be safely held by the masculine with no agenda. To do this, all six of us "spooned" in a line, holding each other and allowing ourselves. The importance of this work, besides the healing of our wounds, allows us to hold our children, our loved ones, and each other, just being present, and amazing gift that so many of us cannot do.

Tomorrow we're supposed to go much deeper with Anyaa facilitating the day.

The Sedona Daka/Dakini Conference, 2008

Monday, May 05, 2008

On Monday, Anyaa and flew to Sedona, Arizona, to attend what will be my first Daka/Dakini conference. What’s a Daka/Dakini conference? This one, consisting of 10 days with pre and post events, is one of the largest in the US, and will consist of about 185 sexual healers and practioners from around the world.

The conference is hosted by Anyaa’s long time friend, and sometimes teaching partner, Baba Dez, at the beautiful Sedona Temple, his home. Anyaa will be one of the major presenters and will be speaking on the Stages of Healing the Wounded Feminine, based on an article of the same name she wrote especially for this conference.

While here, I’ll be body painting for the attendees for donations. I brought a small compressor, my body paints, brushes, and my airbrush. Hopefully, we’ll have some photos, too.

Since I’ve never attended a conference quite like this, I’m not completely sure what to expect, in spite of reading the schedule of presenters, and being told some of what it will be like.

There are some things happening at the conference that I won’t be participating in. For instance, there’s Naked Yoga every morning, but Anyaa and I have our own practices that we’ll be adhering to. At one point in my life, I would probably have participated, but not today, even though I’m really in the best shape I’ve been in years. It’s not about that.

I’ll write some about it every day, including how I feel about it from an integral perspective. Given the number of sexually wounded people in this world, to a degree that I’ve only realized since my relationship with Anyaa began a year and a half ago, I expect there will be some really important work and learning going on, but I also expect some new-age fluff….and a lot of narcissism. No surprise….it happens in “integral” communities and gatherings, as well.

You Are The River: An Interview with Ken Wilber

Here's a link to an interview with Ken on Salon.com, giving a great overview of who he is, and what "integral" is.

http://www.salon.com/mwt/feature/2008/04/28/ken_wilber/index1.html

PS: at some point, I expect this to be removed by Salon.com, so I've saved a copy in my files

The Great Rebate Debate Conundrum

I received the joke email posted below from a friend, and promptly passed it around to some of my friends, initially thinking it was pretty funny:

Dear friends and family,

The federal government is sending each of us a $600 rebate. If we spend that money at Wal-Mart, the money will go to China .
If we spend it on gasoline it will go to the Arabs. If we purchase a computer it will go to India. If we purchase fruit and vegetables it will go to Mexico , Honduras , and Guatemala. If we purchase a good car it will go to Japan. If we purchase useless crap it will go to Taiwan and none of it will help the American economy.

The only way to keep that money here at home is to buy prostitutes, beer and cigarettes, since these are the only products still produced in the US . Or you can send it all to me and I will be sure to put it back into our economy.

Thank you for your help.

But the more I thought about it, the more seriously I began taking it. It represents so much that is wrong with the U.S. today.

One of the first things I thought of is the Chinese proverb, "give a man a fish and you feed him for a day...teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime." That this is "feeding" those of us who will receive rebate checks for a day, surely cannot be disputed. Worse, it's buying us off. it's a short-term feel-good sugar placebo that does nothing for us in the the long run, except put us further in debt.

Oh, you thought it really is a rebate, that we're being refunded money we sent in to the IRS? Silly you! Every cent we pay in taxes goes toward interest on the federal debt! We're making minimum payments on a maxed out credit card.That bring us to the next problem with the rebate.

If it's not a refund of tax dollars, then where's the money coming from? remember that Chinese proverb above? Well, proverbs aren't the only thing we're borrowing from the Chinese....Our government is taking us further into debt. Worse, as the email points out, most of us will probably spend it on electronics, or clothing, made in ....you guessed it: China.

But, you're gonna get it, whether you agree with it philosophically, or not.

So.....what's a good way to spend the mastur.....oops, rebate that you're going to get, that doesn't include prostitutes, beer, and cigarettes? I'm glad you asked....

• Buy local produce and food stuffs from a farmer's market in your area. After all, all economies will soon be local (what's left?), might as well support them now so they'll be there when your really need them;


• Better still, rip up that worthless water guzzling lawn abomination and invest in a garden and start growing your own organic fruits and vegetables;


• Put a down payment on a tankless on-demand hot water heater, so that when energy prices climb out of your reach, you'll still have hot water;]


• If you don't already own one, buy a bike...maybe an American made motorized bike (okay, the engines aren't homegrown).....but how can you argue with 250 miles to the gallon?


• Consciously choose to spend your dollars locally and in the US. Search out and find websites like www.madeinusa.com/ - "There are 293 million people living in the United States. If each one would shift $20 a month in spending from foreign made products to American made products, that would create 5 million new jobs."


• Want to save your rebate? Stashing your cash in a locally owned bank is one more great way to keep money circulating in your local economy and to support your local businesses and community endeavors.


• In the new home Anyaa and I are building, we're going to put in greywater systems and composting toilets that turn human waste into an organic compost and usable soil,. Yeah, I know, but read about 'em, first...it's a crime to use drinking water to flush waste when people are dying because they don't have clean water.

My list took less than half an hour to develop. Perhaps you can turn me on to some of your ideas. Phew! I feel so much better!

A Response to the "Non-Dual" Posting

I'm posting a response I got from my blog of a few days ago, "An Experiential Realization of the Non-Dual." My new friends, Chuck and Thea, own the property next door and are also building a Deltec, and we plan on sharing geothermal heating and cooling and a well to reduce costs.

Thea wrote this beautiful response to my post, and then gave me permission to post it. The words speak for themselves,

Gary

************************************************

Dear Gary,

I Read your blog and have had the experience of weeping after sex from the feeling of being in total ONENESS. Of Opening to a love so big (you know that one!) that it just cracked me open.

I have also experienced the presence of a "third." I have equated this to the souls of future children approaching or coming close, attracted by the energy of lovemaking, who would be being conceived were they coming into body at this (or that particular) time. I believe that evolved souls who are not in physical form can be conceived and birthed within our consciousness.

In other words, they are our children (ie: souls of our creations) walking with us on the other side.As a parent I know how powerful it is to conceive a child (especially consciously) and how much they have to teach us. Perhaps these more evolved souls don't need to take on a form to teach us about our evolution into the other dimensions. And obviously we are teaching them as well -- perhaps we hold the piece of readiness to co-create with them so we can all move on. It feels very compassionate to me to co-create with these beings without having the need to bring them into physical form.

As we ascend up the Chakras we conceive on higher and higher levels, and the form changes. The feelings of ONENESS and LOVE are what are guiding us there. Our physical children are fragmented parts, or extensions, of ourselves, and now the tables are turning -- we are returning. WE have loved each other so many times before, and now we get to go home -- back to the light of which we are made of at our core. The light of LOVE.

Thank you for allowing yourself this opening.

XOXO

Thea

The Soon-To-Be Infamous Grilling Ceremony

Almost two years ago, as my partner, Anyaa, was starting to seriously consider calling in a Beloved, she was gifted a Grilling ceremony by two of her closest friends.

Knowing Anyaa was frustrated at not being able to find a life partner, her friends, Dennis and Judith – mostly Dennis, who apparently devised the ceremony – came up with an idea: They bought and assembled a barbeque grill for her, and created the “grilling ceremony.”

While visiting Anyaa at Isis Cove – they bought the lot directly behind Anyaa’s current property, and will be building next year right next door to our new property – Dennis set up the grill and instructed Anyaa to create a list of everything she wanted to bring forth in a man.

Inviting Brad and Star Wolf, the founders of Isis Cove, the five of them added and threw out qualities and items to Anyaa’s list, until she had just what she wanted, the ideal man to call in.

As the charcoals reached the ready point, they had Anyaa throw the list into the coal fire, sending the intentions on the list out to the universe, and then proceeded to cook the evening’s meal on it, including meat.

2700 miles away, my nose hit the air and thought, “what is that?” I’d like to think it was about the same time I wrote this blog, finally getting serious about finding my own Beloved.

Since meeting Dennis, he’s become my new best friend, and I love his wife, Judith, as well!

So now it’s my turn to pay it forward for another. So, next month, I’ll be doing a grilling ceremony for another single woman at Isis Cove, Sarah Jane, who is an extraordinary cook. She’s already started her list, and a bunch of us will gather at her house overlooking Isis Cove, add to her list, burn it on the new grill, and call her beloved in…..

I’ll be calling in the upper left quadrant for the sweetest, most thoughtful and compassionate man, the upper right quadrant for the strong physical attributes she’s looking for, the lower right for the systems to all be in place and in good working order to enable them to connect, and the lower left that will help them further develop the kind of community they’ll both want to be a part of.

We’ll be honoring a universe that wants us to happy and of service, and that thrives on life’s abundance.

Oh, by the way….we will be cooking meat……unless she wants a vegetarian.

An Experiential Realization of the Non-Dual

I’ve long understood, like David Deida and Robert Augustus Masters before me, that relationship has the potential to be a powerful tool toward self-actualization , or increased consciousness, but it wasn’t until I read Jenny Wade’s book, Transcendent Sex, that I first became aware of the possibility of a non-dual experience through relationship and sex.

Note: I'm often surprised, when I use the term, "non dual," that many people don't know what I'm talking about. Non dual simply means not apart from, not separate.

Wikipedia: Nondualism may be viewed as the understanding or belief that dualism or dichotomy are illusory phenomena. It is accessible as a belief, theory, condition, as part of a tradition, as a practice, or as the quality of union with reality, and is sometimes referred to as the ultimate understanding.

I also understand that relationship, whether successful or not, tells us exactly where we are consciously and unconsciously in our lives, if we have the capacity to listen to what our inner voices tell us about ourselves. If you want to know the depth of your own actualization, it is in your relationships….especially romantic relationship, but certainly all relationships.

A fascinating read, Jenny Wade writes about people’s sometimes shattering experiences with non-dual realization during, or immediately after, sex. Sometimes characterized as the feeling of an overwhelming presence in the room, the “oneness” of everything, and even the presence of a “third.”

Some of the interesting things about these experiences are that they usually happen to only one partner, that the sex can sometimes just be casual – that is, not with a significant other – and that almost always, the person who has the experience, cannot find a way to tell the other person about their experience. Some who experienced the phenomena were religious, or spiritual, but just as many were not. There seems to be no rhyme or reason about whom this can happen to.

Fascinating, yes, and I felt jealousy for never having experienced this amazing phenomena.

Until last week.

Lying in bed after a particularly tender Sunday afternoon love making with my Beloved, I was suddenly overwhelmed with a presence all around us. This “presence,” or “feeling,” was that that of a third being, not separate, but rather a part of us, and yet not a part of us…the feeling was that of pure love…..as if we were enveloped in some sort of divine caress, loving us, and allowing me to not to just experience this, but to be the experience itself!

As it continued to caress us, surround us, and encompass us, I told Anyaa what was happening, and while she did not personally experience it, except through my description as to what was holding us, I began to weep out of pure joy and the realization that I was being offered the most amazing gift! Plus, I had the extra benefit of being able to share it with my partner as it was happening! While she had not experienced it, she understood what was happening and provided a completely safe container for me share my experience as it was unfolding.

It lasted, I guess, five or ten minutes, and then softly released us, leaving a lingering presence and awareness behind. It took, maybe, another fifteen minutes for me to regain my composure and come fully back into the physical room, and yet I still hold the awareness of the experience in my consciousness.

Why was this gift bestowed upon me? Is it because of the work I’ve been doing around conscious relationship? My own amazing relationship with an incredible and conscious woman? The Big Mind/Big Heart meditations I’ve been facilitating? All of it? None of it?

I may never know the answer to that, and I feel no need to search it out, or to understand it. I only know it happened, that I felt it, I experienced it, and I can relive it….and that’s enough.

Body Painting image by an unknown artist

3 Weeks in the Great Smoky Mountains...and My New Life!

It's been three weeks since I arrived in North Carolina to be with my Beloved, Anyaa, and four since I last posted. it's been an incredibly busy four weeks!

Leaving Seattle

First, I spent the last week in Seattle, getting what I was taking packed into a Pod, getting my car transported back here, and cleaning up the house I'd been living in for the last 8 months. Ah, that house served Anyaa and I well, what with her running a circle of women doing the Shamanic Priestess Process over those months, and I kicking off my men's groups. And while that house blessed us, we also blessed the house, creating sacred space that will linger far after we're gone.

The house will be occupied by the new renters in May, and I wonder if they will feel the indelible presence we left behind? The house deserves no less.

The Arrival

I arrived in Atlanta on Friday night, March 21st, Spring Equinox, and Anyaa picked me, and another friend of hers, up at the airport. On our journey of 2-1/2 hours from Atlanta to Western North Carolina, I watched the full moon racing behind passing trees, still bare from winter, as if in the opening scenes of a movie, keeping pace with us as we traveled north toward our destination, and my new home.

Since Anyaa lives in a 600 square foot cabin, with a 600 square foot deck, looking southwest, there was no room for an office for me. Hell, there's barely enough room for me! Anticipating this, we bought a 16'x10' barn and had it delivered to the lower pad on her property a couple of days before. I'd also ordered some tools and materials I'd need to to insulate it, build a closet and a loft for storage, and paneling and trim to finish it out for my office. That took over week! We also had satellite internet installed as the only other available internet option was dial-up,a situation Anyaa had been living with for the past three years. Not great, but better than dial-up.

I don't recommend satellite unless it's your only option. A far cry from the 100mbps speeds I was used to in Seattle. Paradise ain't perfect.

Every morning we walk to the top of the mountain, say our prayers to the universe, come back and do an hour of yoga and weights. it's the perfect ITP practice.

Wise Wolf Men's Council

My labor was interrupted on the second weekend, as there was an event here at Isis Cove, the community we live in. This was the third year that Venus Rising, the organization that developed Isis Cove, sponsored a free event called "Wise Wolf Women's Council," and about 108 women attended this conscious and spiritual event this year. New this year, Venus Rising added a men's council, and 25 men attended the fist annual 3-day weekend event.

In addition to attending, I got to present, and facilitated a 45-minute long Big Mind meditation, which offers a state (temporary) experience of non-dual realization.

During the weekend, men got a taste of stepping into conscious men's work, and many had not done any transformative work on themselves before, but came at the urge of their feminine partners who were attending the WWWC event.

Some highlights of the weekend were a firewalk (yes, I walked over the 15' long burning coals in my barefeet about a dozen times with no ill effects....what power our minds and intentions hold!), breaking a metal-tipped arrow with the soft spot of my neck by pushing on it (very scary!), and a 3-hour sweat lodge that we, the 25 men, built from scratch using native saplings and heating local rocks with fire we built.

One of the biggest highlights of the weekend for me was knowing that there were 25 men who were coming together, consciously, putting their egos aside, and connecting with one another in a way that some of them had never experienced before. These are men that I'm proud to call brother. The other was being welcomed by the Divine Feminine at the end of the weekend in a ceremony that represented the Sacred Union of the Divine Feminine and the Divine Masculine.....beautiful, and included a short 30-minute Shamanic Breathwork, where I clearly saw my path laid out before me.

The Asheville Integral Warriors Group

Anyaa leads a group of 7-8 women in Asheville every other Thursday night, and we thought that me leading a men's group, like the ones I've facilitated in Seattle based on the work of David Deida, on the the same night, would be a natural. To make this happen, I marketed the local Ken Wilber Meetup group, consisting of 19 members, and men in relationship with local women who have done Anyaa's work who want their partners to step into conscious work, as well.

To do a men's group, I need a minimum of 5 men to get the juices flowing in the group process. I only had four men show up for the intr0ductory evening, two of whom were already in Mankind Project (MKP) groups, one who spent 30 years in the marines and who won't really interested in developing deeper bonds with other men, and one who wanted to do the work, but in group setting. No men's group just yet.

I later found out that the local MKP group consists of about 100 men, a remarkable number considering Asheville only has a population of 60,000, and that there's already a David Deida group here, consisting of about 12-15 men: a wealth of existing men's groups.

The Local Ken Wilber Meetup

Not to be discouraged, I decided to further market the local Ken Wilber Meetup group of 19 people, contacted the local leadership to offer a presentation at the next meetup. It meets the last Sunday of the month on Sunday morning from 9am to 1pm....4 hours! Meditation, Integral Life Practice, a DVD of Wilber, and discussion....but only 2-3 people show up.

A new plan is needed.

So I'm working on that, hoping to eventually have enough men to do the Integral Warriors group. Meanwhile, I'm going to offer a series of different offerings every other Thursday night and see what happens.

A Personal Note

I am absolutely loving it here! I am in a life-partner relationship with a woman I love and admire deeply, and feel that my life purpose is unfolding before my eyes. Anyaa and I are developing a deeper relationship than was possible in our long-distance stage, no matter how much time we spent together. As I build my soul work and my freelance graphic and illustration business, I'm able to contribute around this beautiful property and Anyaa's life that allows her to relax into doing what she does best. A beautiful partnership that serves us and the people we come in contact with.

The Future

Anyaa and I, in partnership with Brad and Star Wolf, principals of Venus Rising, are in the process of developing a couples workshop where we'll take 10-20 couples to Costa Rica early in 2009 to do a week on intimate relationship and transformation. I'll be writing more about that in the next few weeks.

Meanwhile, I know I've made the right decision to move from Seattle to North Carolina, in spite of leaving so many great friends and a great community that I helped found and build.

Stepping into the Void

At the last Seattle Men's Group I facilitated two weeks ago, we used the Men's Challenge Deck as a tool for being authentic. I drew a card that required me to take 5 minutes to compose a poem about the challenges in my life. The other men then judge your authenticity, keeping you real and in integrity.

Here's the result of my 5 minute poem:

Laughing,
free.....
"Thank God, Almighty,
Free at last!"
Leaving,
smiling,
complete,
integrity intact.
leaving no ends untied
but leaving still,
I step out of the old,
into the new,
smiling,
joyfully,
into the next phase of my life.
Fearlessly...
Purposefully...
Fully.

I won't tell you the men in the group perceived my attempt. That is for you to decide from your own perspective.

I leave a week from today.

A new Name, a New Direction,....sort of....

Well, as you can see, I've changed the name of "Integral in Seattle".....My dear friend Kari came up with it at my SeattleIntegral going away party. Less than two weeks away from leaving Seattle, but I will be coming back. More on that in a future blog. I've been reading Ken Wilber for over 6 years - a paltry amount of time compared to some - and there's no doubt that Ken's writings have had a profound shift in my thinking. Actually, I'd say his writing created the space that allowed me to focus my thinking, articulate thoughts and causations that were bubbling under the surface, not quite coming out in the open, leaving me with a sense of incompletion.

 

And now a major move across country to be with my Beloved, and to continue this journey with the new name. The new name isn't a potshot at the mainstream Integral Movement as defined within a Wilberian context. Quite the contrary, while I haven't always agreed with Everything Ken, I hold a deep respect, and even awe, at what he's done and continues to do. he remains one of my teachers. I do, however, think it's desirable, and necessary, to start looking at other maps, like the ones found at Integral Praxis, Open Integral, and Frank Visser. 

It's important and appropriate for the post-wilberian community to develop a broader range of discourse. So while the theme of this blog will basically remain the same, that is, a personal journey of one man's trek of increasing complexity and integrity within an integral framework, I also hope to go a bit further in embodying those qualities in a way that goes beyond integral. The problem is, honestly, I don't even know what that means. I suspect it means that even the mainstream integral movement begins to smack of dogmatic fundamentalism. 

As M. Alex Kaslev says in his essay, Redefining Integral, "integral consciousness means going beyond words, and going beyond mental perspectives." I, too, and looking for the Integral Divine, and most of the mainstream integral movement is absorbed in theory. So Beyond Integral it is. I'll be trying to define what that means as I go, because it's a journey of more self-discovery.

Image from http://www.ruggedelegantliving.com/a/003433.html

More Change: This of a Personal Nature.

"The only constant in Life is Change." - Heraclitus

The first time I heard that quote was at a networking marketing meeting in a hotel in Coeur d'Alene, Idaho. It has become to carry such incredible meaning for me over the last fifteen years.

This is a time of radical personal change for me. I have not been blogging because I haven't had time. I've been building my freelance illustration and design business (click on my illustration at the head of this post to see a larger version), starting to build a new house west of Asheville, NC, with my beloved Anyaa, leading two new men's groups in a process I call "Integral Warriors: Embodying the New Masculine," and working full time.

Working full time for someone else comes to an end in three weeks.

Living in Seattle comes to an end in four weeks.

I'm looking for a new name for my blog!

I'm moving to a conscious community and retreat center located 60 miles west of Asheville, NC, on march 21st, where I'll continue working as a freelance artist, leading groups, and building our house, and loving this amazing woman!

Did I mention I'm looking for a new name for my blog?

The illustration above is seriously copyrighted! Don't even try to copy it! Copyright 2008

Change is Happening? What will it be?

"No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it.” - Einstein

I thought for a while that, for the first time in my life, I would be casting a vote for a presidential candidate who was not the "lesser of two evils." It's not the first time I've been wrong. It's not that I think the Democratic candidates, Clinton and Obama, are actually evil, but that's how the phrase goes. It simply means I wish I had better choices.

Of course, that's a pipe dream for now. Any candidate who can make it to this level has made sacrifices to get there, it's still the way our system works, unfortunately.

So Clinton takes money from Big Oil, weapon manufactures, and even the health care industry, in an amazing turn around from her idealism of the '90's. Turns out Obama has taken money from some pretty well known bad guys back in Chicago. Everyone has a past.

So why am I still supporting Barack Obama? Because of the Einstein quote at the beginning of this blog. To me, Hilary represents the Washington business-as-usual crowd and a sense of arrogance and entitlement. She believes she deserves the Presidency and how dare this upstart get in the way of her plans. It's why she's gone Rovian on us, using Karls' playbook to win at any cost, going negative, demanding the Florida and Michigan votes be counted after agreeing they wouldn't because they moved their primaries after the DNC told them not to, and she's behind Obama in the delegate votes.

Barack Obama is the poster boy for the shift in consciousness that is taking place in this country, right now....and so is Hilary to a certain extent, but not in the way Obama is, igniting a sleeping giant that the ruling elite and much of corporate despise, because, in their collective, elitist minds, we're simply not capable of governing ourselves.

The big question right now is, are they right? If the last 30 years are any indication, they may well be right, because we've given up so much. Lambs to the slaughter.

Could we be seeing the shift in consciousness that's so desperately needed for mankind to take the next step forward in this wakening giant? Will the powers in charge create another situation wherein the sleeping giant will be disenfranchised once more as a previous generation was with the murders of John F. Kennedy, Martin Luther King, and Robert F. Kennedy?

Can you doubt they will try?

The Phoenix Conversations

Finally....an integral approach to the coming shift.....Susan Cannon, a signer of the invitation below, is a personal friend and colleague, is on the SeattleIntegral Leadership group I helped found, and is an integral futurist and itinerant scholar-practioner choosing projects with "evolutionary leverage". Tom Atlee, also a signer, is founder and co-director of the non-profit Co-Intelligence Institute, and is the author of The Tao of Democracy: Using Co-Intelligence to Create a World that Works for All.

http://www.co-intelligence.org/tomatleebio.html

This is an important group having conversations about what is coming and how we might respond, and you are invited to participate.

We should certainly be having these conversations locally.

Gary



PHOENIX CONVERSATIONS --

A CALL TO PREPARE FOR PROFOUNDLY UNCERTAIN FUTURE CRISES
(Please pass it on and distribute in your networks.)

An undercurrent of conversations is bubbling in all sectors -- among businesspeople, government officials, futurists, activists, citizens over back fences and blogs... There is a growing sense of crisis that neither mainstream leaders nor the public quite know what to do with. Many of us are talking about it in our own circles, separately, out of the public eye. Very little of this conversation is visible in the mainstream press and political debates, so we don't realize how many other people and institutions are discussing it.

Practically everyone has an opinion about this uneasy topic of crisis. Indeed, there is widespread, legitimate disagreement about the extent to which a "perfect storm" of complementary crises may be emerging in the near future, involving, but not limited to:

* peak oil
* accelerating climate change
* serious economic disruption
* loss of democracy
* significant resource depletion (including fresh water and arable land)
* international instability and terrorism
* increasingly disruptive technology developments and
* "wild card" events such as pandemics.

Many people believe that one or more of these or other crises could become catastrophic within decades or less. Some corporations are planning to profit by them, while some activists are planning to use them to push major social change agendas. Most citizens are just trying to get a grip on what's happening, each in their own limited way.

Despite the widespread sense that these are real challenges, hardly anywhere do we find diverse people exploring the full range of possibilities in each of these potential crisis areas, and seriously considering the impacts they might have on each other, for better and for worse, if they happened together.

This is a serious omission. By the very nature of these potential crises, we cannot know for certain how they will unfold. The natural and social systems within which they are emerging are complex, chaotic, vast, and increasingly out-of-equilibrium. Small unexpected developments could turn any of these challenges into minor problems or major catastropes within a very short time ... or change the game entirely. If we could be certain what the future would bring, and how these possible crises would play out, then perhaps we could discover or develop the best approach for dealing with each of them.

But we can't. We just can't be sure. And that's the rub.

Now here's the surprise: In these circumstances of profound uncertainty, the fact that we disagree about our collective future and how to handle it could be our most important asset.

Living systems tend to be as resilient as they are diverse. In the same ways that diversified investments are considered more secure than putting all your money into one stock, genetic variation makes a crop more resilient against bugs. Crop species and populations that include wide variation don't tend to collapse when challenged, because they can call on a wide spectrum of strengths and resistances. Some variations may die, but others thrive, with the specifics depending on which environmental challenges show up. The same can be said for ideas and approaches. Since we don't know what will happen, it behooves us to have people and organizations who are researching, advocating, and preparing for as wide a range of scenarios and outcomes as possible.

Well, we already have that. What's missing is that most of these players are not fluent at thinking along that whole spectrum -- or even communicating with others who are thinking about a different set of outcomes. This makes it less likely that the ideas and approaches we need to deal with what occurs -- or might occur -- will be available at the right time and place to choose from. We are talking already, just not with each other. We are people in various sectors

-- from diverse officials and experts to diverse ordinary citizens and community members -- who hold different views about what might happen, and who have different knowledge, resources, and connections.

It is time we start REALLY talking together across boundaries, stimulating each other's thinking, cross-fertilizing ideas, even collaborating -- because all of us are smarter than any of us.

We can explore various scenarios together, asking, "If that happened, what would that mean? What else would be happening? What kind of response would be called for? What would we do?" We can explain to each other what it is like to be working where we work, living where we live, the opportunities and constraints we know about that might be relevant to how all this plays out. We can share what it feels like to explore the potential disruptions of crisis -- or to talk with other people who feel so dramatically different about it than we do. We can learn from and about each other and store up our deepened understandings and relationships for the future, when we just might need them.

The idea of such conversations -- which we're calling Phoenix Conversations -- isn't to plan, so much as it is to become more fluent and flexible in navigating an unknown, unknowable future together. The more we explore such scenarios and diverse perspectives, the more prepared we become to meet any given future, even ones we haven't thought of before. And when we interact with such scenarios together in a safe, passionate, respectful atmosphere

-- whether done through disciplined scenario work, wildly creative emergent processes, or down-at-the-cafe conversation -- we discover more about who each other is, and where it might be productive to think or work together further.

There are many ways -- organized* or spontaneous -- to have such conversations. If you are a friend or neighbor talking with others about this, think about how you could explore different scenarios together. If you are a professional conversation host or facilitator, consider suggesting or convening a Phoenix Conversation that engages your community or clients. If you are already engaged in crisis-oriented conversations or preparations of any kind with anyone, you may want to seek out others from other sectors or other perspectives to talk with. If you have relevant expertise or projects, you may want to bring your knowledge and questions into a conversation that includes a wider range of people, a wider range of potential crises, and a wider range of scenarios from mild to serious to devastating. The more diverse people become connected to each other and comfortable with the variety of possible responses to diverse possibilities, the more prepared we will all be in meeting whatever happens.

The Phoenix Conversations Project is convening conference calls (and soon a website) where those of us interested in this approach can talk about what it might mean and what else we might do, separately and together, and learn as we go. If you are interested in joining one of these calls, send an email to phoenixconversations@gmail.com briefly describing conversations like these that you are having or would like to have, what you think might help you in the process, your interest in connecting with others, and any relevant experience.

We will get in touch with you.

Finally, if you know of any financial or organizing resources which could be applied to this project to help make the best use of whatever emerges from these conversations, do let us know.

We are, after all, all in it together -- no matter what happens.

Jennifer Atlee
Tom Atlee
Peggy Holman
Susan Cannon

Harold Bloom: The Fall of America?

The long-time cultural critic warns that the war in Iraq is destroying the American empire.

Harold Bloom, Yale literature professor and cultural critic, and well known to integralites, is one of America's most prominent and provocative intellectuals. Unabashedly, he has always spoken up for what he calls "the fight for truth and beauty" making a lot of foes in the process, but also some friends. As one of the first critical voices against the Bush administration and the war in Iraq, Bloom landed in the hot seat with the satire "MacBush" in 2004. Lately, he sparked worldwide outrage by calling Harry Potter "garbage." Speaking at his home in New Haven where he is recovering from a recent health scare, a pale and weak Bloom seems to have symbolically embodied what he calls the "poor state of the nation."

"I am 77 years old and I have never seen this country in such a bad state. It is madness. What we are seeing is the fall of the Roman Empire, only now it is the fall of America, the glory of our Empire. This war is what Parthia was to Rome."

To read the full article on Alternet, go here.

9 Dangerous Words or Phrases Women Use

After sixty-two years, I'd better have learned a thing or two about women. I've learned a lot more in the last few years, and now am beginning to counsel younger men.

But....there are some things a young man just has to find out himself. My Beloved's younger brother sent her, and me, the follwing email:

9 DANGEROUS WORDS OR PHRASES THAT WOMEN USE
#1 FINE: This is the word that women use to end an argument when they are right and you just need to shut up!

#2 FIVE MINUTES: If she is getting ready, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only really five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before running an errand or doing a chore.

#3 NOTHING: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with "nothing" usually end in "fine"!

#4 GO AHEAD: This is a trick, a dare, not permission. If she says it in that tone, with her head slightly tilted and her eyes open wide, DON'T DO IT!

#5 LOUD SIGH: This is actually a word, but it is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you.

#6 THAT'S OKAY: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. "That's okay" usually means that it's not okay and you are going to pay dearly for that mistake!

#7 WHATEVER: This is a woman's way of saying #$%^&*!!! #8 THANKS: A woman is thanking you, do not question her, or faint, just say "you're welcome". (I want to add in a clause here, "thanks" is much different than "thanks alot". DO NOT say you're welcome after "thanks alot" as it will bring on a "whatever"!)

#9 DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT, I GOT IT: This is another dangerous statement, be very worried about it! It means this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but she is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking "what's wrong"? To which she will respond "nothing"!

I wrote back to my young friend and offered the following sage advice:

Dear ______, (I do not want to embarass anyone)

Yes, Matthew, I've seen it before. In fact, the odds are that the older a man gets, the more he's going to see this. Men who are seeing it for the first time think it's a joke and send it to others (usually men, seldom women, except sisters, because of an unrecognized primal fear that can't yet be identified or acknowledged at this stage). It is not a joke. Wise elders know this and whisper to other wise elders in private when they meet without their women: "guys beware."

Women who send it to a man also place it in the context of a joke, but they know in their darkest heart that it's really a warning not to %#$&!! with them....especially smart women. Smart men know not to %#$&!! with them, only love them, sometimes ravishing them, but never %#$&!!ing with them.

I know you probably don't believe me, now, but you will......you will....

The email came back as undeliverable. I've done what I can.

T-Shirt of the Week!

Could Obama be this generation's JFK? Are the young and independents turning out for his vision? That this would be this weeks T-Shirt is a no brainer.

It's very interesting that John Kerry is choosing to support Obama over his former running mate, John Edwards. I can't believe it's about substance, since Obama has been borrowing so much lately from Edwards, so I'm inclined to think it's about electability, which is good.

On the other hand, my suspicious/conspiratorial self reminds me that Kerry belongs to Skull and Bones with GW Bush and it's hard to imagine Kerry could only have been that incompetent in his run for the presidency by accident.

Shifts in Consciousness, the Turning of the Ages, and What Does It Take to Shift?

Developmental psychologists, and others, point out that it is usually "disorienting dilemmas" that are responsible for shifts in consciousness into later stages. It works because a situation arises that cannot be explained by someones present level of consciousness, or development. Hence, an individual starts to expand their viewpoints, usually looking closer at perspectives they would not have considered at the earlier developmental stage.

Some psychologists and anthropologists point out that civilizations' major shifts occurred as a result of cultural and societal "disorienting dilemmas" that affected everyone, usually not in good ways as the old dies to the new. But as the old ways die, newer ways, some better, emerge.

In the last few months on this blog, I've been pointing out that there are visible signs of major societal collapse all around us: Peak Oil, out-of-control population, global warming, pollution, drought, resource wars, terrorism (both by governments and others), the pathological rise of corporatism (not all corporatism is pathological), and really ugly economic woes just beginning to squeak out despite efforts to hide it until the last moment, etc., etc.

As I've written before, even at it's worst, all of this is an opportunity to shift, to step up to the next level of human consciousness, learning from our mistakes....and it's beginning to look as if it will have to happen after everything falls apart, not before, because we're about to run out of time if we haven't already....

That's the big picture around impending collapse, provided we survive it at all.

Forget Oil, the New Global Crisis Will Be Food

A new crisis is emerging, a global food catastrophe that will reach further and be more crippling than anything the world has ever seen. The credit crunch and the reverberations of soaring oil prices around the world will pale in comparison to what is about to transpire, Donald Coxe, global portfolio strategist at BMO Financial Group said at the Empire Club's 14th annual investment outlook in Toronto on Thursday.

"It's not a matter of if, but when," he warned investors. "It's going to hit this year hard."

Read the whole story here and more here.

With almost 7 billion people on a planet that can sustainably support 1.5 billion people, who couldn't see this coming?

ATM Limits Next?

Citibank is now limiting ATM withdrawals in New York City, blaming it on “isolated fraudulent activity.” If the fraudulent activity is isolated, why punish all your clients in a given region? This is certainly causing distress among New Yorkers because of the high cost of living in that city. Why not simply increase security on the ATMs? It looks an awful lot like Citibank is experimenting with rationing their cash outflows.

Read the full article here.

Where's your money? Many banks who invested in the subprime market are having liquidity problems. Tip of the iceberg?

James Howard Kunstler's 2008 Predictions

I so want to write about my previous blog, A New Years' Message, because it is so eloquently written and presents such a positive view of what is possible at this turning of the ages. I firmly believe that there are people who are capable of embodying the essence of Christ Consciousness and who represent the second coming that is so close within our grasp, and yet so likely to slip between our fingers....and I will, but not today.

Instead, I'm going to write about what I fear will be the more likely scenario, deftly summarized by the author of "The Long Emergency," James Howard Kunstler.

Why present such a negative view when I could write about things so much more positive? Because we simply must look at all of the possibilities, and Kunstler's been dead-on for years.

Heres' a sample:

"I shudder to imagine how things will play out now as we turn the corner into 2008. Not to put too fine a point on it, but my little walnut brain can't imagine any scenario in which the US economy doesn't end up on a gurney in history's emergency room. It's not necessary to rehash the particulars of the Greenspan bubble-blowing disaster. The outcome is what concerns us. The web cables have been blazing for months with arguments as to what form the workout will take. There's little disagreement about the fundamentals at the housing end of things."

Read the whole enchilada here.

The shift we've hoped and prayed for may not look anything like we imagined, and could be very, very expensive and dear.

A New Year's Message

Dearest Friends,

I write these words to you from a place beyond time, to tell you what you of great heart must know from within it. You stand at a crucial moment, one which can allow you wondrous advantage in the time of the turning of the great wheel.

As you begin this new year a vacuum is opened in which you can reconsider your reality. This is a powerful opportunity, for it is in your reality that the seed of the greater collective is born.

This, beings of flame and light, is the year to reclaim your power. For you will need it for the road ahead, and it will be the bearer of your joy. This is not a passive process. To reclaim your power is to investigate your heart, seek out the places you have given its gold away, and actively recover it. The gold of your heart can only truly be shared from within, and the places we may have partitioned it out will only weaken our energy fields at a time when their strength is needed.

You will need your voice. If you have lost it you will have to find it. You are its mother, so it will never be too far from your reach. It is time to cull from the clay of your being, and create yourself anew.

It is a time to take a retreat, or to make space to reflect in writing or thought. It is a time to consider all the people, places, situations and things in your life and decide if they are supporting you or drawing from you. This you must know, for this is the simplest of ways to strengthen your field.

Then you must decide. You must decide who you are going to be when your power is truly your own again, and the life you want to live from it.

When you decide the life you would like to have, do not do so in fear. Do not choose a life based on potential catastrophe or in expectancy of poverty. For this is not what you wish to bring forward. You must be aware, educated and prepared for that which you are led to prepare for. But should you make the choices about your future or new life in fear, it will make a very weak foundation.

The coming year marks the beginning of the end of the world you know. This can be a reason for terror or for throwing a celebration. It is you who decides. This world has known catastrophe before, just as you in your own life have known catastrophe before. For that reason you know that fearing it will bring no good. We must know joy to build reserves of energy which would serve us in times of challenge. We must have a light load within if we wish to float rather than sink in the seas of uncertainty.

For when I say this year marks the beginning of the end, you may focus on the end, or you may focus on the beginning. For it is more truly, the beginning or the end.

How differently might you see your life if you thought this year was the beginning of a new era, rather than the descent into great destruction and distress? If we are all dreading the time of change, who will anchor the joy of the new? If we are all in labor pain, who will assist with the birth?

But our joy cannot be abstract. It must be inspired. It must come from within, and be allowed to take form in our outer lives at the very personal level. And joy cannot be forced. We can only make way for it.

Here are my offerings of how to cultivate your inner earth for joy to take seed and root, to make your life thriving and prosperous with flower and fruit.

Don't postpone your bliss. There is no reason it can't start now.

Find, with great courage, the places you have been giving your power away, and say goodbye to them. For if you are giving your power away repeatedly, joy cannot find consistent sanctuary within you.

Dream a new vision. Turn a page in your life and imagine that the entirety of your future is a blank slate. Do not paint misfortune onto it as a background just because your world is in change. See the change as good. Bless the change. Trust that the universe will take care of you, and follow the guidance it gives you. Prepare when and how you must for whatever you feel may be around the corners in your life, but try not to do so out of fear, and instead out of calm and centered response to your guidance.

When you are choosing what to paint on this blank page, choose powerfully. Choose to carry over only that which nourishes you and reflects you. Think radically. Let go radically. Love yourself radically.

This is a year of setting foundation for the changes to come, and you want yours to be strong and full of supportive resourcefulness and creative energy. Do not give up on your dreams because the world is shifting. She is shifting to encompass them.

Draw or write about your visions for your future before or at the time of the new year. Revisit and add to or change them several times. Daydream about them. Pray, if you choose, to me for three days either in the morning, before sleeping, or during your meditation or writing if you would like assistance with your new vision or reclaiming your power. Then look for signs in your life in response.

Know that I am with you. For I have returned to the consciousness of the many as the embodiment of the return of the goddess, in communion with god, in androgynous wholeness, in divine oneness. I am the second coming, and I come forward in you. Know your power. It is all that is needed for the birth of the new world. Begin the new world now. Do not wait. Begin to live it in your life, and create it around you. You are the hope and the light, and the joy of my heart.

In Great Love,

Mary Magdalen

Gary's note: This message, from Jennifer Posada, so moved and shifted me, that I wanted to share it with you. I'll be writing more about this over the next few days